Revenge of the BLOG

House of M vs Infinite Crisis

2005-10-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

This sorta thing happens every decade or so. Simply telling regular ongoing stories isn't enough for the two major superhero companies, there needs to be a big event where all the characters come together and something enormous in scale goes down. For Marvel, it's a single event called House of M that leads to many other smaller events. For DC, its many events that lead to a singular one, Infinite Crisis, the true nature of which has yet to be revealed.

Of the 2 events, DC's is far more focused and single-minded. I'd imagine that if you're someone who is reading all these mini events that lead to Infinite Crisis, it feels like a lot of puzzle pieces falling into place. If you're not following all the "Countdown" miniseries, Infinite Crisis is like getting only a few puzzle pieces, and only a few of them fit together. Still, the scope of what is happening is not lost on the new reader; it just feels like coming into the Star Wars saga midway into Empire Strikes Back. House of M, on the other hand, is far less focused. It has a singular idea, that the world has changed and many of the heroes are living dream lives, and lets all these individual mini's build on it independently of one another. You can read the main House of M miniseries by itself and feel as though you've got the whole story without reading all the others. If you read every HoM book there is, to use the puzzle analogy again, you've got all these pieces and it's left up to you to put them together, and this is a really hard puzzle.

It's hard to say which storytelling method is better. For the casual fan, I'd say that House of M works better, but for the hardcore fan, Infinite Crisis is a huge payoff. This week, House of M begins to wrap up, while Infinite Crisis begins. Personally, I am a casual fan. I didn't buy any of the Countdown minis, and I didn't buy any of the HoM minis. Only the main miniseries' for me, which is sure to color my reactions to both events. Also, I'm much more of a Marvel guy, I don’t know why, but I tend to gravitate to the Marvel Universe. I know a decent amount about the DC universe, most of which I've picked up through osmosis online. I also never read the original Crisis on Infinite Earths, but I pretty much get the gist of it, and I trust the Geoff Johns' tendency to give an explanation for EVERYTHING will make Infinite Crisis a little easier to take in.

So here's what went down this week:
The first question that comes to mind, in House of M #7, is when's the last time a surprise was actually a surprise? Have we as an audience become so smart, so good at guessing plot outcomes that nothing surprises us anymore? Personally, I can't remember the last time a comic book actually surprised me in a significant way. That's really the big question for us, the readers. Onto the issue.

Issue opens and BOOM, big fight. Really, it's a splash page that lets you know that a battle is happening. As it stands, the fight is pretty meaningless. You can't punch things until the world reverts back to normal, and beating up a bunch of Genoshan guards isn't gonna effect the outcome of the story. The thing with Bendis is that he knows how to script a fight scene, I've seen many very good fight scenes that he scripted, so he's not writing these big chaotic battles to avoid writing a fight scene, he's writing them this way because the real drama of the issue isn't a physical battle but a mental one. But yeah, one wonders if Bendis scripts stories where fights are fairly meaningless to avoid scripting fights. I've got no answer there.

But yeah, the fight is happening, and it goes down like this: After a big splash page, Rogue grabs Genis-Vell and steals his powers, making her all sparkley so she can go off and kick more ass. Over in the magnetic shield that Polaris has put up, Pietro is holding a downed Wanda, but all of a sudden, she literally falls into a million pieces. Tetris pieces, by the looks of it. Pietro takes off running, but gets his ass knocked to the ground by a supercharged Rogue, who just stands there and acts southern.

Before I move to the Doctor Strange scene, I’d like to point out that in the panel where Cyclops tells Nightcrawler to watch people's backs, Cyclops is literally shooting the ground. Is he blind when his beams shoot? Kinda funny.

So, Doctor strange notices a light on, up in one of the towers, and goes to investigate. Because, like, investigating people who leave lights on is WAY more important than the battle at hand. And hey, it's Wanda in there, playing with those damn creepy kids. Wanda recognizes him. It appears that her mind is part in the house of M, and part in the real world. She knows who he is, and knows that he delivered her kids, but doesn't know why he's there. The Wanda that fell apart was a construct, and it seems that she's been making a lot of constructs recently, and it is hinted that the Magneto we've seen recently is a construct as well. Of course, we don't know WHICH one was real and which was made by Wanda, but I prefer to think that Magneto died in New X-men #115, and every Magneto since then was a creation of Wanda's that represented the different sides of Magneto that she knows. Sorta makes sense, right? Of course, this invalidates Grant Morrison's Magneto in Planet X, which I really LIKED, but making him a Magneto that Wanda created is much better than plainly calling him an "imposter" while the "real" Magneto is a nice guy. This way, both Pro-Morrison people and those against Morrison are equally wrong. Magneto really died a while ago, and both nice guy and crazy guy are equally fake.

But anyway, Strange informs her of the fighting outside, and then we learn why things are the way they are. We flashback to HoM #1, the scene between Pietro and Magneto. After Magneto leaves, Wanda wakes up and consoles her brother. She's accepted her fate, but Pietro doesn't want to lose her. He devises a plan. She could use Xavier’s powers and hers, and make the world perfect. She could make the world so everyone would be happy, everyone would have what they want, even Magneto. It's either that or she dies. It wasn't Magneto that set this all in motion, it was Pietro.

Apparently, Doctor Strange is surprised by this revelation. I think he might be the only one. Strange continues the questions that Emma Frost telepathically tells him to ask, but before she can tell him where Xavier is, Wanda takes an arrow to the back. Before Emma can figure out what is going on, Magneto appears before her. Layla does the mind thingee on Magneto, and before we can see what happens, we cut back to the bedroom, where Hawkeye is back, making good on his promise to put an arrow in Wanda. Hawkeye is understandably pissed for, y'know, being dead. Wanda counters with the fact that she DID bring him back, but before any more could be said, that little toothless bastard kid of Wanda’s throws a fit and Hawkeye falls into Tetris pieces, just like the construct of Wanda did earlier. Man, I hate these kids. Wanda keels over, and she's just as crazy as ever. She can't control her powers now, which doesn't sound good.

Back in the battle, Pietro is causing a lot of damage, as evidenced by a lot of speed lines and small panels of heroes getting their heads hit, but then BOOM, Magneto starts yelling and he is pissed. He literally restrains every single hero in pieces of metal, and has them floating, he then brings Pietro up in the center, right in front and starts chewing him out. Magneto is none too pleased with what Pietro has done in his name, and sends these giant balls of scrap metal colliding into Pietro's exposed head. Personally, I love stuff like this, because it really puts on display just how goddamn powerful Magneto is. Of course, Wanda doesn't love stuff like this, because she explodes out of her tower, cancels out Magneto's hold on all the heroes, and literally erases his mouth so he can't tell her to stop. She moves over to the clearly dead Pietro and either restores him to life, or cleans off his corpse, I can't tell which. She then really calls Magneto on all his bullshit. Mostly his arrogance is what she can't stand, and the fact that he chose his quest for mutant superiority over his own kids. She doesn't buy into the idea that mutants are the next step in human evolution, but instead thinks that they're all freaks. And if he believes in mutant superiority so much, well guess what? "No more mutants" Wanda tells him, and things start to light up. Doctor Strange puts up some kind of magical barrier, but even then, the world burns white, and the issue ends.

Personally, I thought it was pretty cool. Pietro being behind it was kind of a "no duh" moment, but really it was 50/50 between him being behind it all or magneto. Really though, Wanda actually takes some blame, because she knew what she was doing. It was a satisfying climax, I thought, and there is still one issue to go. Easily the biggest strength is the family drama aspect of it, and these issues with the children that Magneto abandoned coming to a head. It'll be interesting to see what the specific changes are after the white glow goes away.

Over on the DC side of things, we're thrust into the aftermath of the OMAC, Day of Vengeance, the Rann/Thanagar War, and Villains United minis, as well as various tie-ins from the regular books like JLA. The JLA Watchtower has exploded, tying both IC and HoM as two events that take something Grant Morrison created (and I love) and say "enh, guess not." I'm not bitter though, oh no, I've got the GENIUS of Seven Soldiers to sustain me. Anyway, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman survey the wreckage and basically talk a lot of shit to each other. The Martian Manhunter is "gone" which means he died or got out to whereabouts unknown. Batman has this black box recorder, and while it might reveal who teleported in and blew up the watchtower, it mostly serves to make Batman look like a paranoid crazy person. Superman acts like a man without a dick, while Batman talks down to him. Lemme say this right now: I hate this wishy-washy pussy version of Superman. While I'm not 100% sure how Superman SHOULD act, this version that basically scolds Batman for being over the top crazy rather than DOING anything about it simply isn't my thing. But then Wonder Woman shows up, and she actually kills people now, so Superman directs his scolding energy at her. It's clear why Batman and Superman are there, but it seems like the only reason Wonder Woman showed up was so that scene could happen. Apparently, images of Wonder Woman killing Max Lord have been beamed to every TV on the planet, so everyone in the world knows that Wonder Woman killed some dude in a polo shirt, the context of which is completely up in the air.

Watching this broadcast is Superboy. For the uninformed, Superboy, is a clone of Superman that has DNA from both Superman AND Lex Luthor. Recently, Luthor activated something in Superboy that made him go nuts and beat up the Teen Titans, he's since been afraid to do anything, not trusting the Luthor side of his genes. So there he sits, in the Kent farm, scared to take any action.

Now, throughout this, there is this omnipresent narration from a group of people who appear to be watching everything unfold, and then we SEE these people in shadow, literally watching everything unfold. Can you guess who they are?

Back on earth, in Bludhaven, Nightwing's city of choice, Donna Troy is preparing to take a group of heroes to some other galaxy to fight some.. thing or something. Honestly, the only people I recognize in this scene are Nightwing, Supergirl and Starfire. Starfire simply because she's on the Teen Titans cartoon. I didn't read the Return of Donna Troy mini, so I honestly don't care what she's about to do. I will say though, that Starfire's hair is insane. Nightwing leaps off the building, while meanwhile, some homeless dude turns into an OMAC! He blasts some 3rd rate villain, and then notices Nightwing nearby. The OMAC's directive changes to "truth and justice", whatever that means, and all of a sudden, around a million of them fly up into the sky. I'm guessing that "truth and justice" doesn't mean "kill", because Nightwing looks pretty calm.

Meanwhile, the Rann/Thanagar war is raging, and the only Green Lantern that I give a shit about, Kyle Rayner, sees what appears to be a black hole, but it really isn't. It's a manifestation of... something or other. His ring can't figure it out, and the Guardians can only identify it as a tear in reality. Or something.

Fulfilling the "Day of Vengeance" recap requirement is some giant rock exploding over Gotham City. In maybe the oddest cameo of the year, 2 members of the cast of Gotham Central appear to witness this explosion, and then see Captain Marvel hit the car in front of them, getting knocked out. Apparently, the Spectre has killed the wizard Shazam, and then the rock exploded, and then a bunch of magical creatures fill the streets of Gotham. Again, this makes no sense to me, but I get the general idea of what happened, just not WHY it happened.

Over in... Somewhere else, the Freedom Fighters are investigating where some supervillain meeting went down. Of these guys, I only recognize the Ray and Uncle Sam. Because he's... Uncle Sam. So, they open up this wherehouse door and BOOM, this condor guy takes a shot right through the gut and drops. The Freedom Fighters have discovered the hideout of Luthor's team of villains, the society (of supervillains). Doctor Polaris, Doctor Light, Professor Zoom, Black Adam, Psycho Pirate, Sinestro, Bizarro, and the Cheetah all look pretty impressive and scary and stuff….

But back to the bombed out Watchtower. Superman only SAYS that Wonder Woman will have to answer for what she did, and continues to act like a pussy who’s girlfriend is cheating on him instead of taking any sort of action. This standing and pouting gives MONGUL the perfect opportunity to POUND THE FUCK OUT OF SUPERMAN’S HEAD. Superman goes flying… and we’re back to seeing the Freedom Fighters get their asses kicked. Professor Zoom knocks out damage, and sadly, Phantom Lady gets a spear through her chest… but back to the moon, as Wonder Woman takes her new magical sword and slashes at Mongul, who only gets pissed and knocks her away. He then proceeds to grab Batman, who really can’t do a thing about it besides do an impression of a pirate… but back to the Freedom Fighters getting slaughtered! The Human Bomb learns that Phantom Lady just got impaled, so he freaks the fuck out and blows himself and Doctor Polaris up. Bizarro shows up and, bizarrely, pounds on the Human Bomb until he’s dead.

Quick aside here: How fucking wrong is it to have BIZARRO kill someone? When I think of Bizarro, I think of this big goofy guy who talks funny. Not someone who kills people with his bare hands. That was pretty unsettling for me.

But back to the moon! Superman comes back to pound the shit out of Mongul, and downs him in 3 hits. This gives Wonder Woman the chance to try to fucking KILL him! How fucked up is that? She gets one kill in and all of a sudden she’s the Punisher. Superman stops her, of course, and gives the very lame line “I don’t know who you are anymore”… just like a guy who’s girlfriend is cheating on him. This gives Mongul the chance to run away, far away from the crazy Amazon with the sword.

And finally, the end of the Freedom Fighters. Uncle Sam gets the shit kicked out of him, and the Ray gets dragged away because Luthor “needs” him for something. Sinestro gets the killing blow to Sam, and that’s that.

Back to the moon, where the big three act like teenagers. Superman and Batman are mad that Wonder Woman killed the guy, Batman is mad at both of them because he got his mind wiped, Wonder Woman and Superman are mad at Batman for judging everyone, and Wonder Woman and Batman are mad at Superman for being a pussy. Apparently, Superman is the only person on the planet who isn’t aware of who he is and what he means to people. But NOOOOO, Superman doesn’t want to be in charge of anything, he doesn’t feel it’s his place to inspire anyone, which allows Batman to give the line of the century: “The last time you really inspired anyone… was when you were dead.” And with that, they all go their separate ways, they’ve given up.

This doesn’t sit too well with the 4 mystery people who are watching it all. They feel that they have to save the world now, so the leader starts beating on the screen they were watching everything from; he smashes it down, and reveals himself to be Superman… of Earth 2. Issue ends on that note.

Ok, so what the fuck? Superman of Earth 2? If I wasn’t vaguely aware of what happened in the first Crisis, I’d be totally confused. All you need to know is that Earth 2 Superman is older, and from an Earth a lot like golden age DC, I think. Back in the “pre-crisis” DCU days, there were all these parallel earths, with different versions of the superheroes. These earths were all collapsed together in the crisis, but before it happened, Earth 2 Superman, the original Superboy, Lois Lane Kent, and good guy Alex Luthor escaped into a paradise dimension… and now they’re back.

OK, so which is better? I have to admit that House of M made a lot more sense to me than Infinite Crisis did, but the huge scope of Infinite Crisis beats out House of M by miles. Of course, when your story has Superman and the goddamn Batman (no, not THAT goddamn Batman) as major players, the enormity of the event is inherently larger than anything where Wolverine is a key player. Sorry Marvel, but it’s true. I did enjoy both of them. I do enjoy these epic stories, and I'm not one to get angry with a comic book company because of the storytelling direction they've chosen to take. I don't really think that any of the characters are sacred, nor should they be, and I do respect that they are taking chances with their stories. I do, however, wonder if the rampant killing going on in DC is the right way to go. I'll admit that they do have a LOT of boring characters, but it might be smarter to just leave them in limbo than to have Bizarro beat them to death. Then again, how else are you gonna show that these villains are worth a damn when you have 50 or so years built up of these guys continually getting their asses kicked. They seem kinda toothless if you don't show them winning every once in a while. Infinite Crisis also suffers because the threat isn't made clear in the first issue. You're given this idea that the multiverse is opening up, and you see an army of OMACS and demons and Supervillains, but is that really what this mini is going to be about? All these different threats? Perhaps it being unclear is part of the point. We'll see.

Over on the Marvel side of things, the problem is that nothing is surprising anymore. Every move is telegraphed a mile ahead, and far too many things are reliant upon the X-Corner of the Marvel Universe. Of course, given how things are looking, that corner is going to be a lot smaller in a few months, but really, this is how many events now where the cause originated from mutants? Perhaps that's the nature of the Marvel Universe. All the compelling characters are all so human and earth-bound that they simply aren't convincing in these epic cosmic struggles... and the characters that belong in epic cosmic struggles are all too boring to read about. I mean, I love Daredevil, but I don't think he's the right person to be saving the universe.

That being said, I think both are successes, and I liked both for differing reasons. In the end, I think Infinite Crisis will be the sales leader, simply due to the massive hype and the fact that Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are front and center. Still, as a fan, I'm looking forward to each story unfolding, and writing even more about each.

Ultra mega badass blowjob comic book reviews

2005-09-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

Last weeks and this weeks comic book purchases. Lets do this, motherfuckers.

(in no particular order)

Shining Knight #4
HOLY SHIT BIG FIGHTS! AND JUSTIN IS A GIRL! These sheeda things are pretty cool little bastards, and we're seeing them show up all over the Seven Soldiers books. The art in this one is especially good, and Morrison is Morrison. Buy this.

Ghost Rider #1
Uh. Where's Ghost Rider? I get that a character with continuity as fucked up as GR needs some intro, but I'd sort of like to SEE him in a comic that bears his name. The angels and demonic rednecks do prove to be complete douchebags completely deserving of an ass kicking courtesy of the Spirit of Vengeance, so props to Ennis in that regard. Wasn't a fan of the art.

New Avengers #9
I wrote a pretty lengthy review/deconstruction of the issue over on the CBR boards, so all I'll say is this: At first glance, this is an average comic. Read it twice, read it 3 times even and you'll begin to grasp what Bendis is trying to do here. It's pretty awesome. And the art is insane. Whoever put together that 2 page spread of the sentry's memories is a genius.

Gotham Central #35
"Dead Robin" heh. This comic wins points for such a genius story title. The story comes together nicely with some HOLY SHIT revalations at the end. NOW I understand why the dude wouldn't give up his source. This Kano guy is doing an awesome job keeping up the tone that Michael Lark set. My only regret is that once this story is over, Brubaker's involvement with the book will end. Sad.

JLA Classified #11
So, a bunch of stuff blows up and individual JLA members investigate. They all find similar tablets with glowing glyphs on them. Ellis said that he set up this story so each character got an introduction that would be helpful for first time readers. I love the interaction between Clark and Lois. All of a sudden Clark Kent isn't a pussy. Best Justice League book in quite a while.

Amazing Spider-Man #523
Why am I still picking up this book? I'm not even thinking when I lay down money for it. It's not that I dislike it, its just that this book does absolutely nothing for me. I'm totally indifferent. I don't care for the art, so there's a strike against the book. I'd like it if JRJR came back. It's just so... blah. I'd rather read about the Spidey in New Avengers. And this isn't that Spidey.

Ex Machina #14
Yet another awesome issue of Ex Machina. And the second part of a 2-part story to boot! The Jury duty plot ends on a sad note, and the new great machine gets unmasked. All cool. But direct your attention to the cover. I didn't notice this at first, but it's the cityscape in Ex Machina, with the one surviving World Trade Center tower. What an eerie image.

Fell #1
Warren Ellis and Ben Templesmith doing single-issue detective stories for 2 bucks a hit? I'm fuckin' in! Although, at the moment where Detecive Fell figures out the cause of the murder, I figured it out as well... because Ellis posted a link to the real world version of this story on his web site months ago! It's the sherry enema story except with scotch. Talk about ripped from the headlines. The dialogue between Fell and the Chief made up for everything though. I dig this book.

Daredevil: Father #2
What the hell? This book? I honestly picked up this book on accident. I was in kind of a rush last week and simply grabbed it because it had daredevil on the cover. This book ain't that good. It's not I'm pissed about the lateness. I'd have to WANT to read the book to be pissed about it being late. I just don't care about a Daredevil story that isn't written by either Bendis or Miller.

Runaways #7
This is a fun little series. Victor La Mancha has been successfully integrated into the team. I'm not thrilled about the fill-in art, but at least it's someone who has a grasp on the characters. Reading the excellent Runaways hardcover gave me a new appreciation for this team. If I never read the hardcover, I'd be complaining about the lack of Excelsior in this issue.

Powers #12
So like, they catch the bad guy and Deena has a flashback. This book is so late that I forgot what the story was about. I should probably read the arc again. If I feel like it. I don't right now.

The Punisher #25
GOD DAMN, Ennis knows how to set up a compelling story. He sets up who all the supporting characters are gonnna be, the enemy, and the Punisher's mission. This is one of the best comics Marvel puts out and no one seems to notice. Nice to see that Fernandez is the regular artist. I love his stuff.

Ultimate Spider-Man #82
Bendis has his best arc in years going here. I love the street level Spidey stories. And I've noticed a trend: Whatever Bendis writes, if it has the Kingpin in it, it's awesome. This is a rule. But forget Kingpin, what about Black Cat! Every 15 year old male's fantasy comes true as the busty Black Cat totally comes on to Spider-Man. She has no idea how old he is, and completely throws herself at him. Naturally, Spidey has no idea what to do and runs away. Moon Knight shows up and all his multiple personalities are in full effect. Such a fun comic.

Astonishing X-Men #12
The "Dangerous" arc thuds to a stop. So uh, I'll just come right out and say it. This book is a serious misstep. Whedon has an OPPURTUNITY here to write a definitive X-Men run. Instead he's had the X-Men fighting boring aliens and plot devise robots. "Danger" has the plot devise.. ERRRR ability to give robots sentience, which then makes plausable the retarded idea of Kitty Pryde guilt tripping the megasentinel into going away. Of course, she has to go into the WILD, MACHINE-GROWN SENTINEL to find a CHAIR, KEYBOARD, AND A BANK OF MONITORS INSIDE. Sweet holy fuck this is bad. Whedon isn't even trying anymore. At least the Cassaday art is pretty, and that last page has the potential for a cool future story.

Supreme Power #18
Guess what! This is the LAST ISSUE of Supreme Power on the MAX line of books. It's a slow burn, this series. The superheroes in the real world concept is a cool one, but I'm not sure that I'll follow the book to the MK line. I think that something might be lost with the absence of the graphic violence the book is known for.

Young Avengers #6
Sigh. Iron Lad goes away. I liked him. But the team is in place with slightly worse code names. What was wrong with Asgardian? Titan sounded way cooler than Stature. Anywho, I dig this book because of the fun the team seems to be having. I knew this bool would be cool, and no one believed me. I like always being right.

The Manhattan Guardian #4
No Guardian action this issue, but it involves the newsboy army and the Sheeda... so that equals good comic. The Kirby/ Marvel Universe parallels in the giant baby publisher were pretty evident, and it'll be fun to pick apart the kids in the Newsboy Army and all the uses of the number 7. This entire Seven Soldiers series is just begging to be read in one sitting.

Captain America #9
What a cool story. Cap and Fury confront Lukin and discover that he has some powerful friends. They'll fight another day. Brubaker seems to do no wrong in this book, but allow me to nitpick for a little bit. I liked that the two artists, Epting and Lark had logical reasons for working on the book. Epting handled sequences in current day and Lark handled flashback sequences I really dug that. Now Lark is handling a full issue set in present day, and Epting is doing flashback sequences as well as present day sequences last issue. I'm not a fan of that.... but the writing is so good I'm willing to overlook the problems.

House of M #6
I love this mini. There, I said it. I love the concept, I love the execution, I love the characters, I love their interactions. The complaint concerning this series is the seeming lack of plot progression. Plot does not define story. Plot is the framework within which ideas are explored and personalities and relationships are unfolded. If all you want is plot, go and read a Tom Clancy novel. This is a good story, and that makes for a good comic.

Wha... Huh?
Not as funny as the 7 month wait would lead you to belive, but some good jokes exist in the book. Half the fun is finding all the cool easter eggs that Mahfood threw in. Funny stuff.

And that wraps up my comic book purchases of the last 2 weeks. I'll post again if i find something I want to write about.

Comic reviews, August 24

2005-08-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

I'll be doing comic reviews somewhat differently than I used to. While I was on my blogging break, I'd write fairly long comic book reviews and post them on the very cool CBR message boards. They'd usually start off discussion threads and I got a fairly positive reaction from people.

Now, because I'm lazy, I won't be writing long reviews here. Mostly because I could only bang out long reviews for 2 books a week, max. And I'll be posting the long ones on CBR. Here, I'll just give general observations and stuff. No more cover images to go with the reviews. Those were a bitch to track down, resize and host elsewhere.

Now then, what came out this week?

Ultimate X-Men Annual #1.
I dug this book. Basically a Gambit and Rogue side story where they fight Juggernaut. The cool thing is that GAMBIT DIES IN THE END. Rogue permantly absorbs his powers and memories before he dies, so he end up with one less shitty character and a slightly more interesting Rogue. The REAL weird thing with this book is Tom Raney's art. I've got all these STORMWATCH back issues, and his art today is better by leaps and bounds. It's nice to see an artist improve.

Daredevil #76
Begins the Murdock Papers story. Bendis and Maleev are on point once again in what is their last arc. We see positve stuff happening for Daredevil. He's become the most popular superhero in New York City, the public doesn't seem to care about the rumors of his true identity, and Milla is back in his life. So, with everything going good, things will take a turn for the worse for sure. This happens when the Kingpin spills all his secrets concerning Daredevil to Ben Urich to get his freedom. My issue with this is why would Urich write the story that is sure to ruin his friend Murdock? Doesn't make sense. Then again, this arc is just starting, so in true Bendis fashion, all will be revealed.

Daredevil VS Punisher #3
More Daredevil fun from David Lapham. This story looks rooted in 70's Marvel, but that might just be the art. Wondering where a story fits in continuity is a pretty stupid thing to do, so it's better to just enjoy the story. And it's a fun read. Some clever uses of supervillains, which is odd. We're getting more Supervillans here than in their 2 respective books, and this one is written AND drawn by Lapham.

Jack Cross #1
I LOVE this book. Then again, I tend to LOVE Warren Ellis books. And then, I tend to LOVE torture/interrogation sequences. And then, I tend to LOVE spy/espionage stories. This has everything I LOVE in one package, except for boobies. It is my goal to one day become a Warren Ellis character.

Wolverine #31
The end of Millar's Enemy of the state/Agent of SHIELD mega-arc. Wolverine basically kicks ass the entire issue, as he did for the entire arc. The way he offs the Gorgon is pretty cool as well, with some cool dialogue. This kind of story really can't sustain itself for more than 12 issues before it looks like a big joke, so Millar chose the right length to tell the story. Fun stuff.

Next week looks like it's gonna be HUGE. Expect reviews of JLA CLASSIFIED, SHINING KNIGHT, AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, ASTONISHING X-MEN, CAPTAIN AMERICA, DAREDEVIL: FATHER, NEW AVENGERS, POWERS, RUNAWAYS, SUPREME POWER, WHA HUH?, and YOUNG AVENGERS.

Anonymity + competition = douchebaggery

2005-08-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've been on a break for quite a while. School demanded a lot of time and attention, and once I wasn't blogging for a while, I lost the feeling that I should. School went well, good grades all around, and then summer hit. I really enjoyed myself as I spent days at a time doing nothing, but after a month went by I started going nuts. I spent more time working, and I bought myself a subscription to Xbox Live.

Lemme tell you about Xbox Live. Xbox Live is an online service where after plugging your xbox into your cable modem, you can play games over the internet. Without a keyboard and mouse, player to player communication is handled via a headset. This is where the real fun is, listening to the INSANE trash talking that occurs during the course of a game.

The thing about trash talking is this: without any sort of physical proximity to the people one is playing against, one could turn into the worlds largest douchebag. Take my experience in Halo 2 for example. Before any single game, you are put in the pre-game lobby, where you wait while everyone loads the map or you wait for additional players. Here's where the initial trash talking begins. Expect to be called a bitch a few times, expect to be labeled a fag more than once, expect to be informed of your forthcoming "rape" eventually, and every once in a while, someone will call you some racial slur that can in no way be identified with your race. This is all before the game begins. Take away the actual threat of a physical confrontation and everyone becomes a tough guy. Not just a tough guy, but one with a middle school vocabulary. In the time between the pre-game lobby and the post-game stats, there is no single more important thing than the game. It is the measure of your manhood, your heterosexuality, your dick length, etc. Never have I felt more disconnected from youth culture than the moment I realized what everyone else my age and under were up to on Xbox Live.

So it's annoying and borderline offensive. It's like being back in high school all of a sudden. So take off the headset you say? I say thee NAY! This is all part of the experience. Play enough and you start to give yourself over to the experience, the game becomes THAT important. Now, I'm not calling anyone a fag or anything, but few things are sweeter than sticking the trash talking weilder of an energy sword with a plasma grenade, and knowing that even if they manage to kill you, their death is only seconds behind. Then you respawn and do the whole thing over again. It's an experience. It sure is.

After 24 days I'm a level 16 in Rumble Pit. I'm also a 17 in Team Slayer. My gamertag is IantistarI . Look me up sometime. I promise I won't call you a fag.

Oh snap

2005-08-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm doing the blog thing again.

The Ultimates 2 Annual #1
This is really an issue all about Nick Fury. Although, he doesn't appear in it that often, we're shown glimpses of all the things accross the Ultimate Universe that he has his hands in. From new Ultimates recruits to assassins.

So, the Ultimates kick the crap out of some terrorists attempting to hijack an airplane. This scene is really set up to give us our first glimpse of the focus of the issue; the new recruits. We see the Rocketmen, piloting some older versions of the Iron Tech armor, they manage to save the lives of the terrorists after the Black Widow flings them out of the plane. Continuing the new recruits, we see a page that profiles all of them. There are five Goliaths, each with the power to get really big. A squad called the four seasons, with nondescript powers that come from their very colorful costumes. Thunderbolt and Intangi-Girl, who's name's decribe what they do. Finally, there is a guy named Lieberman, who's been injected with the new Super Soldier Serum. The thing with these characters is that they're not really fleshed out in way that makes them more than just jarheads with powers. Lieberman especially comes off like the most annoying jock you'll ever meet. I'm sure that's intentional, but he's the only one of them that gets anything that resembles a personality. Maybe this is some subtext dealing with how Millar feels about the American military, maybe he just can't be bothered with making us care about these new nobodies, whatever the case, these guys are boring.

Now comes the plot with the assassin. Some General, presumably a Russian one, gets on Fury's ass for using the Ultimates on foreign soil against a sovereign nation. Fury isn't having any of that shit, and basically tells him to fuck off. From there, we're led to believe that the general hires this aged assassin, Mr. Nix, to off Fury. It's all so obvious that it has to be a red herring.

After some complaining from Summer, one of the asshole Four Seasons, we get perhaps the coolest moment of the book. Confirmation that the Hulk is alive and smashing things in the Himalayas. It isn't even commented on, but it's Millar's way of hammering the point home for those too dumb to get the ending of #3.

Another cool moment is the appearance of the Defenders. Seems they've recruited a guy in a wheelchair. This gives Millar the oppurtunity to make lots of handicapped jokes. It's all very funny in a slightly guilty way. We also can infer from the narration boxes that Damian Hellstorm is on the team with the sole purpose of monitoring Hank Pym, who doesn't even bother to show up for the meeting.

Now another action sequence, shown from the perspective of the new recruits that don't really do any fighting. The team beats up some giant sand monster while the Four Seasons act like assholes. There IS a humourous bit though, commenting on how no one really knows what Scarlet Witches powers do.

After a pretty forgettable scene with Mr. Nix, we find out what the deal is with Lieberman. Turns out that he's gonna be the reserve Captain America in the event that Steve Rogers goes down. Makes a certain ammount of sense. But, of course, this doesn't last long, cuz on a night on the town, Lieberman tries to do the superhero thing and save the residents of a burning building. He's actually successful, but in the end the SSS fries his entire central nervous system. Fury comments that they should put his body with the OTHERS. Ugh, they've been killing a lot of people with this new SSS.

Finally, Nix attempts to make his hit, but Fury caps him instead. Turns out that Fury is the one who made the hire, all to catch a notorious assassin. Yeah, sure, didn't see that coming.

So what was the point of it all? Fury is a bastard. He does some sneaky, underhanded, fucked up things, but does so because he believes what he's doing is right. He's doing it for our safety... or something. Millar likes to write assholes, he's good at crafting situations where people are bastards, and this is no exception. I'm not that big a fan of Fury, but then, I'm not a fan of anyone who takes who they are and what they do THAT seriously. Like the Jack Nicholson character in A Few Good Men, he's guy on the wall that you and I don't know exists. And he'll put a bullet in the head of an innocent person to keep the world ignorant of that wall. He's got absolute power, and you know where that goes... right to hell on the pavement of good intentions. (wow, that's a lot of cliches.)

Well, that didn't last long

2005-02-28T00:19:00.000-08:00

So, I know I haven't been posting a lot lately. It's actually very disappointing to me that I haven't been able to do what I thought I'd do, but sometimes other stuff is just a higher priority. That being said, I'm gonna try to update this thing more often. A real effort to do what I intended to do. Obviously, with my school workload being what it is, I can't update this thing every day, so I'm gonna try to do regular 24 reviews and comic reviews, as well as cd reviews when I get them.

Tomorrow (today, actually) I'll post a 24 review. Tuesday will be last weeks comic reviews. Wednesday will be this weeks.

FUCK

2005-02-23T23:59:00.000-08:00

Doing an all-nighter/essay writing.

I took notes for this weeks comic reviews, but they'll have to wait til tomorrow.

In the meantime, look at this:

Comic Reviews for February 16th

2005-02-22T19:34:00.000-08:00

Astonishing X-Men #8
So, this was a good issue. Probably my favorite issue to date of this series. Now, this may sound surprising because general fanboy reaction to this issue is the most negative out of all the reactions to the series. Why is this my favorite issue so far? Absolutely no fanboy pandering. There are no fastball specials, there’s no Emma bashing, there’s no fan favorite characters returning from the dead, there’s no “here nerds, have exactly what you’ve been asking for!” Just all relatively new ideas and some very straightforward action. John Cassaday once again proves why he’s one of the best artists in the business, and Laura Martin proves that she is without a doubt the best colorist working in comics today. Whedon’s dialogue doesn’t draw as much attention to its self as it used to, which is a good thing. He’s really learned to shut up and let Cassaday draw. Great issue.

The Authority: Revolution #5
Normally, I dislike when another writer’s run is dismantled or ret conned, normally I’d prefer the new writer to move forward instead of resetting the clock. In this case, however, I find it to be really tastefully done. Brubaker basically dismantles Robbie Morrison’s run, including Coup D’etat. Instead of just ham-fistingly re-writing history, Brubaker simply concludes the ideas Morrison brought to the series. The team discovers that they simply aren’t cut out for running a country, as the nuclear blast in Washington DC proved. Also, the Midnighter quits the team, as he was told to by the future Apollo, which gives us a touching scene between him and Jenny Quantum. It appears that after all this, the Authority breaks up, making way for a truly shocking ending that really shouldn’t be spoiled. It was actually a surprise to me.

Daredevil #70
Well, this was a fine little comic. “The Golden Age” concludes, and all the fractured plots come to an end, which is a pretty cool storytelling devise. By the end of it, we get a new White Tiger, and life is basically back to the recent status quo for Daredevil. I don’t really have much to say about it other than I thought it was a satisfying end to the story.

Ex Machina #8
Such a great series. I’m honestly surprised that this fractured narrative storytelling devise can still be cool 8 issues in, but it really works for the series. The subway animal killings plot gets a little deeper, and we’re reminded that the “mature readers” label isn’t just for the language. Some surprisingly graphic violence happens, which almost seems over the top and out of place here, but I’ll go with it for now. Again, not much to add other than this is a deeply involving comic that is criminally underappreciated.

Green Lantern: Rebirth #4
Earlier I was praising this month’s Astonishing X-Men for not pandering to fanboys. This is the opposite end of the spectrum. This is fanboy pandering at it’s worst. The main selling point of this series for H.E.A.T. members is that it completely absolves Hal of any responsibility for Emerald Twilight. Turns out that Sinestro drove him insane, and Parallax, the yellow fear monster made him kill the corps. I hate this revisionist history bullshit, and I hate the beatification of Hal Jordan. They even erase his grey temples. The issue ends with a lame sequence where Hal “goes to the light” except at the last moment, Ganthet makes him go to a different light, and ends back up in his old body. I’m sure a thousand nerds just came in their pants, but this just make me throw up in my mouth a little bit. This isn’t the worst miniseries in recent memory, that dishonor goes to X-Force, but this is certainly the nerdiest.

Runaways #1
So, I missed the boat on the first series, and I’ve come to discover that this is a pretty well written, expertly illustrated series. And it’s got that going for it. What it has going against it is the pretty blah characters. I find myself more attracted to the superhero support group than the Runaways themselves. This could be because this is my first exposure to the kids, but in truth I’m just as unfamiliar with Excelsior as I am with the Runaways. Either way, the book is good enough for me get to know them better with future issues. Thumbs up.

Wolverine #25
Enemy of the State ends in an anti-climax as Wolverine kills Northstar. This wasn’t the huge death that Mark Millar led us to believe it would be in interviews, but probably is the biggest death the x-office would allow. Ultimately, it’s meaningless because as you can see with the cover to #28, the Hand will revive Northstar anyways. All in all, a decent issue, with some great art by JRJR, but I’m just so over the regular Marvel Universe X-Men that I can’t wait for him to break away from them.

24, Day 4: 4:00pm-5:00pm

2005-02-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

A transition episode. It was basically the ending of last episode and the begining of the next one, which normally wouldn't make for a good show, but because this is 24, it's still very worth watching. It has a lot of content, but still feels incomplete somehow. Anyway, here's how it went down.

Jack faces off with Berus' father, kicks some ass, but then Berus kills him. Fine, its all good, because Berus is safe, and his mom will talk. She doesn't have much to say, it turns out, she just knows the location of where they got their mission information. Not a whole lot to go on, but just enough to keep the plot moving, so I accept it.

Her info leads to a building where it appears the terrorists planned their strike. Back at CTU, they learn that the owner of the building is complicated, but at least partially owned by Audrey's husband, whether he's aware of it is another story. This leads to an incredibly dumb scene where Audrey thinks she can stall him before Jack gets there to interrogate him. I'm really hating this Audrey chick. Anyway, Jack shows up and punches him in the face, and the show ends.

Obviously, that's not the only thing that happens in the show, but thats all that involves Jack. What else happens? There's a plot involving Curtis (who I originally called black Tony) leads talk soup girl to where she thinks white terrorist kept his computer files. This is ultimately meaningless, because some nondescript terrorists show up under the command of some American dude and they kill talk soup girl. Curtis talks tough, but they knock him out for an interrogation next episode.

Tony gets reinstated really fast, basically erasing last seasons's "traitor" plot, and he gets to head up the interrogations of Berus and his mother. It seems that Tony's story and the Araz family's are wrapping up. I really hope the writers figure out what to do with Tony that doesn't push him to the background or end up with him getting killed. I kinda liked him as a partner for Jack.

All in all, not the best episode, but reasonably good. More of a pallette cleanser for next episode.

Tomorrow I'll post last week's comic reviews, just in time for Wednesday's comic reviews.

A bizarre day

2005-02-20T23:41:00.000-08:00

Well, this was quite a weird day in media terms. Three things happened that have a personal effect on me.

First, two new Nine Inch Nails songs got leaked. The Hand That Feeds was leaked as a really shitty quality radio rip. Apparently, someone stole a shitty quality copy of the song from a video shoot and then sent it to various radio stations, and then someone taped what was played on the radio. The song its self sounds good, but the quality is terrible. A really obvious single that will probably guarantee them a lot of radio exposure. The second song is of much better quality but isn't the radio-friendly single the Hand That Feeds is. The Line Begins To Blur is a very high-quality copy and still very good. Thumbs up for both songs.

Second, on a more amusing note, someone hacked Paris Hilton's cell phone and released all her personal information onto the internet. Naked pictures of herself, ALL her stored phone numbers and some notes. I have Chrstina Aguilera's phone number. I can call Lindsay Lohan if I want.... though I don't really have anything to say to her.

Finally, the most depressing thing to happen today is that Hunter S Thompson died. It still isn't clear if he really meant to shoot himself or it was a drug-fueled accident. Ugh, this is depressing.

Regular updates will happen this week. Sorry about the downtime. I had homework to do.

The Hand That Feeds

2005-02-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

you're keeping in step
in the line
got your chin held high and you feel just fine
because you do
what you're told
but inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold

just how deep do you believe?
will you bite the hand that feeds?
will you chew until it bleeds?
can you get up off your knees?
are you brave enough to see?
do you want to change it?

what if this whole crusade's
a charade
and behind it all there's a price to be paid
for the blood
on which we dine
justified in the name of the holy and the divine

just how deep do you believe?
will you bite the hand that feeds?
will you chew until it bleeds?
can you get up off your knees?
are you brave enough to see?
do you want to change it?

so naïve
to keep holding on to what I want to believe
i can see
but i keep holding on and on and on and on

will you bite the hand that feeds you?
will you stay down on your knees?

Temporary downtime

2005-02-18T02:04:00.000-08:00

So, when I thought up doing a blog, of all the possibile problems I could forsee that would prevent me from doing it daily, I overlooked my homework load. I thought I could hack both.

I'm getting more homework, tests and essays all at once than I thought I would, and it's cutting into my blogging time. I'm sure like 3 people will notice, but I'm gonna have to take the rest of the week off. I shall return sunday or monday with this past weeks comic reviews or a new 24 review.

Education comes first, unfortunately. I wish I could find employment simply through blogging, but I've gotta get one of these degrees, it turns out.

Technical Difficulties

2005-02-15T12:59:00.000-08:00

No entry today because I've been upgrading my OS to OSX 10.3.8 from 10.2.8 and it nearly made me lose everything, which might have made me kill myself. All those essays gone. Not a pretty site.

I'll return to regular programming tomorrow with some new comic reviews.

24 day four, 3:00pm-4:00pm

2005-02-14T22:03:00.000-08:00

Sweet jesus, it was more like the Berus power hour this week.

The 2 main plots finally come together when Jack traces where dead white terrorist made his last few calls. Turns out that the person he called was Berus' Mom! So, the episode is mostly spent on somehow getting Jack and Berus in the same room together.

There is some other stuff, including a genuinely emotional scene between Edgar and his Mother, and another one where Driscoll talks some sense into a freaked-out Edgar, which was all very good, but the show is mostly about Jack.

So, as Berus goes to a local hospital to find pain medication for his wounded mom, Jack and Tony figure out where the mother is staying. Them and some CTU SWAT guys storm in, and they capture the Mom.

Meanwhile, back in the hospital, Berus asks his Uncle, who is conveniently a Doctor there, for the meds. The uncle, sencing something is wrong, calls Berus' father, who in turn convinced the Uncle to make Berus stay there.

Over in the hotel, Jack and Tony convince the mother to help them find the override device in exchange for the safety and freedom of Berus, she goes along with it and calls Berus and tells him to wait in the Emergency so Jack can pick him up.

Unfortunately, as Berus is trying to leave, his father shows up, with gun in hand. The Father blows away the Uncle, grabs Berus and heads to the stairwell.

Madness ensues, as Jack shows up, and yells a lot, the father manages to pull Berus into a basement where a tense standoff will begin next episode.

What a great episode, it hit all the right notes, and wonderfully managed to pull these 2 main stories together in a gripping, believable way. It reestablished that Tony is technically still a traitor, and people are aware of it. It gave Edgar a new depth which made him even more likeable. Jack reminded the audience that the last 3 seasons really did happen, and he's got the emotional scars to prove it. And there was even a moment of bad cell phone coverage, probably there to throw a bone to people who've been knocking how everyone has perfect cell coverage.

On the reusing old scenes front, the scene between Edgar and his Mother recalled the scene in season 2 where Jack had to say "goodbye" to Kim, but given the sort of situation they were in, the similarity is kind of unavoidable.

Great episode.

Fuck the Grammys

2005-02-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this as I'm watching the Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony performance and I've decided that I'm never watching this shit again.

Plus, I learned earlier that the Grammys NEVER gave Led Zeppelin any award.

What a fucking joke.

More NIN news!

2005-02-12T21:52:00.000-08:00

As if my life wasn't consumed with it already, here is more news from www.nin.com

They released a tracklisting. It goes like this.

All The Love In The World
You Know What You Are?
The Collector
The Hand That Feeds
Love Is Not Enough
Every Day Is Exactly The Same
With Teeth
Only
Getting Smaller
Sunspots
The Line Begins To Blur
Beside You In Time
Right Where It Belongs

Sounds very cool, I mean, as cool as song titles can sound.

Additionally, they gave a little teaser as well.

May 3rd can't come soon enough. And I get a preview at Coachella.

Nine Inch Nails: Coming to a shithole near you!

2005-02-11T21:10:00.000-08:00

So, Nine Inch Nails has added three new concert dates, and two of them are in California! The problem? They are in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Now, I realize that these dates are simply warm-up dates. They're meant to get the new band to work better toghether and get used to the stage show, lighting, etc, but COME ON! Fucking Fresno? UC Davis? I've got a choice between flat boring central Cali and... flat, boring central cali with cows.

Sheesh..

At least I have Coachella to look forward to.

Why do comic book shirts generally suck?

2005-02-10T22:53:00.000-08:00

Something I've noticed as I make my weekly trip to the comic book store. The shirts they get from Diamond are usually hideous. I mean, when it comes to comic book heroes, the shirts they make should generally be no-brainers. If the character has an iconic symbol, PUT THE FUCKING SYMBOL ON THE FRONT OF THE SHIRT. How hard is that? You want to make a Captain America shirt? Put a white star on a blue background! A Flash shirt? put the lightning bolt symbol on a red shirt! Batman? the Bat symbol on a grey shirt! Instead, we get these retarded HUGE collages of Spider-Man with this intricate web design, or some stupid bastardization of the Superman S. Stop it comic companies! Do you want your fans to be spotted a mile away as walking eyesores?

It should go like this:
Superman: S symbol on blue
Batman: Bat symbol on grey
Spider-Man: Black spider on red
Captain America: White star on blue
Fantastic Four: The 4 symbol on blue
Green Lantern: Green Lantern symbol on green
The Flash: Lightning bolt symbol on red
X-Men: A red X on blue... actually, this could work a few ways, but the X is generally red.
The Punisher: White skull on black
Thor: Those 4 blue circles on black

Sorry Wolverine, you don't have a symbol, you don't get to be on a shirt. Sorry Gambit, you're lame, no one wants you on their chest. Sorry Iron Man, a red/yellow circle is too generic.

This is the way it should be. Comic fans could be slightly cooler if they were simply supplied with simple and direct superhero shirts. Unfotunately we're offered the Superman S made of fire, or a 2 foot long picture of fucking Venom jumping or something. These are the reasons that it's tough being a comic book fan.

Comic reviews, February 9th

2005-02-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

A whopping ten comics that I give a shit about came out today, luckily, four of them were released on the internet a few weeks ago, so I'll just re-post my old reviews and maybe make a few new observations.

Starting off the week is Captain America #3
I'm thinking that this is the best book Marvel puts out. A while ago, I said that Brubaker is becoming one of my favorite writers; today he cracked the top 3. International forces begin to take down the other WMD's that the Red Skull planned on setting off to fuel the cosmic cube. Union Jack discovers AIM agents have already taken out the London site, and Cap shows up just in time to catch them as they were escaping. This makes for a very cool CAP BEATING ASS scene, where he actually uses something in his utility belt (!!!) and then kicks ass some more. Afterwards, Cap and Sharon Carter enjoy some time off in Paris, while S.H.I.E.L.D. searches for the other bomb. Cap has been noticing lately that his memories are getting jumbled together; he isn't remembering things like he used to, and is having false memories pop up at weird times. I'm sure this will all eventually go somewhere important, but now it’s just something intriguing going on the background. Finally, an ending that is perhaps more shocking than #1, because it has almost no set-up, but it works because it is so shocking. Remember Nomad? Jack Monroe? He gets capped like a pussy this issue, and the plot thickens...

Resurrecting its self on my care-o-meter is Gotham Central #28
I dunno what it was with the last few issues, maybe the art just wasn't working for me, but I really dig this issue. No, Michael Lark hasn't returned, but someone doing a very good Lark impersonation is on art duties, and the book is suddenly good again. So, some fighting kids stumble upon some chemicals in some vacant basement, and the chemicals spill and hijinks ensue. Actually, a police officer gets burned alive by the end of it, but it's intriguing either way. All signs point to one of the Flash's rogues concerning who owns the chemicals, so it's off to Keystone city next issue. The staying power of this book is seriously in question. With Lark gone and Brubaker now Marvel exclusive, my two biggest reasons to buy the book are now gone, but if Rucka and this new guy can keep the quality of this issue up, I'll stick with the book until it gets cancelled.

Also surprisingly good is The Incredible Hulk #78
This wasn't good in the "boy, that was really thought provoking" way, but in the "it's cool to see Hulk smash things" way. Hulk fights something that looks like the classic grey Hulk, but kills him and it turns out to be... something else. Maybe a guy in a suit. All the while, he's watched by someone sitting behind a bank of monitors, sorta creepy, but haven't we just been through this with Bruce Jones' tedious mega-arc?

In keeping with the theme of big fights is JLA #111
So, the JLA and the CSA finally go at it, but they prove to be a little more capable than they were in JLA: Earth 2, and they actually win the fight. Busiek does give an explanation for why Ultraman can put up a fight, but the JLA (with more members) should have been able to take them. I dunno, maybe the CSA just had more time to prepare. Anyway, there is a sub plot with the quardians which only serves to complicate things, and Ron Garney just ain't my cup of tea. While reading this, I couldn't help but have flashbacks to the brilliant JLA: Earth 2 by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely, and I lament about how great this series would be if those two were back on it. Oh well, it's still an alright book.

Getting a little darker is The Punisher MAX #17
So, we find out what the deal was with the terrorist sub plot. Lots of people won't be happy with it, and although I think it stretches plausibility, I still buy it. In the world of the Punisher, the government is run by fuck ups, I can live with it. Anyway, after getting his ass handed to him by the Mongolian last issue, Frank gets a second wind courtesy of a well-timed flashback about how his family got killed. Frank freaks out and literally swings the Mongolian by his foot until his leg comes off. Sick stuff. At the end, Frank devises a plan to get out of the silo with the girl, it's risky and it shows that Frank has incredible balls, but it might just work. I'm loving this book.

Also out this week is MK Spider-Man #11
Remember when I said that shit was really gonna get good with this issue? Well, I was only semi-right. There is an excellent fight scene in the book, but it's not the HUGE fight against the sinister twelve that I thought would be there. Spidey finally gets some support, as the Avengers (pre-disassembled), Fantastic Four, and Daredevil show up to kick the shit out of the baddies. This leaves Spidey with an opportunity to go after the Goblin. What slows him down is Mac Gargan AKA the Scorpion in the Venom costume. I'm not entirely sure what to call him, but they have a big ol' fight, and Spidey drops a building on him. Finally, Spidey confronts the Goblin on the top of the same bridge where he killed Gwen Stacy (and the same bridge where he confronted Gwen's kids, but continuity is screwy these days, so I don't mind) except this time he's got Mary Jane. Next issue promises a big Spidey/Goblin fight that should be very cool. I like.

Millar continues to deliver some good reading with The Ultimates 2 #3
This book keeps getting better with every issue. The whole issue is devoted to the Trial of the Hulk, and it moves at a pretty brisk pace. Matt Murdock is his attorney, and does the best job he can to save the life of Bruce Banner, but it just isn't enough. The jury wants to punish the monster that killed those hundreds of people, so an elaborate execution is set up. Banner is drugged by Pym to sleep through the NUCLEAR BLAST designed to kill him while he's left on an abandoned aircraft carrier somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. When you think the deed is done, Pym gets a call from a scruffy haired drifter, somewhere in Miami or LA, it seems, thanking him. So, HOORAY! The Hulk lives! So, I really liked this issue. It reads better while holding it as opposed to reading it off a computer screen. Just a solid one-issue story with a very satisfying ending. This is the reason I love comics.

The Ultimate universe continues with Ultimate X-Men #56
So, while Millar used shock, and Bendis used introspection, they were both new takes on the X-Men, they both were about a team that was different than how you've seen the X-Men before. Brian K Vaughan, on the other hand, delivers an X-Men team that is very classic and familiar. He's basically doing a straight X-Men book, which might be why I find it so pedestrian, but by virtue of the fact that it's Vaughan who's writing it, it manages to be the best X-Men book on the stands currently. Yes, better than the very pretty but far too fanboy-pandering Astonishing X-Men. So, in this issue the Longshot story continues. The Spiral fight is cut short by the Phoenix making an appearance, and the "is Colossus gay?" sub plot rears it's head again, and takes Longshot along for the ride. A fun book.

Moving on, it's the third of the Grant Morrison Vertigo mini's, Vimanarama #1
Wow, this is a fun and fast paced book. Like a lot of other Morrison books, it just moves like a bat out of hell, never bothers with that exposition bullshit, and only bothers to give you the information you'll need at that moment. So, the book's about Ali, an Indian teen/twenty something that is facing down an arranged marriage. Before he can meet his intended bride, he helps his uncle out of a hole he fell in. Upon investigating the hole and looking for his brother, he discovers a hidden city underground, with some hibernating aliens that his brother accidentally awakens. A very fun ride, even if I have to re-read it a few times.

And finally, last but certainly not least is Young Avengers #1
So, I really liked this book. I appreciated that they skipped the "lets get the team together" thing that is currently taking six issues in New Avengers. When the book starts, the team is already formed and has already gotten some press. Now, the press part is the one thing that irks me. Ten pages of Jessica Jones before we see the actual team is a bit much. Yeah, I like Jessica Jones, and the ten pages were spent talking about the Young Avengers, but the whole Jessica and J Jonah Jameson and Kat Farrel could have been accomplished in maybe 5 pages, we would have got more Young Avengers action that way. What I dig about the team is they have a clear goal, the book is about something more specific than "lets just watch the team do what the do" which is really gonna come in handy if the book's sales slide and they need to wrap it up, but really, the book is so good that I doubt that'll happen any time soon (then again, the comic industry is really good at canceling good books, so I dunno). So, what is the book about? What's its clear goal? Well, it all hasn't been revealed yet, but it seems Iron Lad (yes, it's a lame name, something they point out in the book, so there has to be a point to it) is convinced that Kang the conqueror is gonna strike some time, and only this team is gonna be able to take him. What is so special about this team? Well, we don't know what secrets Patriot, Hulkling, and Asgardian hold, but Iron Lad has a doozy. He's really from the 30th century, and his name is Kang. Cool, huh? Can't wait for the next issue to see what the next secret is.

DEMO #1: NYC

2005-02-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

I've got the mother of all colds, so I'm writing this before the cold medicine has the chance to knock me out.

For the next few weeks, I'll be reviewing or just talking about one of the issues of Brian Wood's DEMO series. I'll try to go in order, but I don't have all the issues yet, so I'll just go through what I have.

First, the series is in high contrast black and white, and the art is in a pseudo-Manga style that I normally wouldn't be a fan of. The art works though, and doesn't devolve into some of the classic Manga trappings, but instead opts for a simplistic and expressive style that fits the stories perfectly.

The series is about superpowers, but not in the "use them to kick the bad guy's ass" definition. The series explores what it would be like to have them, but the focus of the series isn't necessarily on the powers themselves, but on the characters that have them. This is what the ill-fated Marvel series NYX was supposed to be, but for whatever reason never panned out. This series works much better.

"NYC" is about a couple and their journey to New York City. Marie and Mike are both around 18, and they're on their way to escape their suburban existence and live in New York. They're just like a lot of other kids, except one of them is different; Marie has this condition. While her mother thinks the condition can be corrected with pills, Marie has turned her mother's concern into a reason to run away from home, although going off her meds might not be the best idea.

Marie's condition has to do with her brain, her brainwaves to be specific. They flow out of her head much like telepathy, except completely unfocused and much more destructive. Mike tries as hard as he can to be supportive as they make her sick, but as she begins to vomit uncontrollably along with cold sweat and shaking, he reveals himself to be just as scared as she is.

Finally, she decides to stop suppressing it and let the brainwaves do what they will. They explode everything surround them, yet they spare Mike, possibly a symbol of her love for him. The brainwaves eventually die down and they abandon their smashed car to make for a bus to the city. The story ends as they finally make it to New York.

I really dig this book. I knew kids like that, these hopelessly in love teens who never left their partners side. To a certain extent, I was envious of what they shared back when I was younger, but at the same time, I took comfort in knowing I had something to live for other than just one other person. As the years went by, I found that my life had changed for the better, advancing through school, getting promoted, finding success. While the couples I was envious of remained together, with little change concerning anything else. I have to wonder if this is an even trade-off. While I had material success, I find that each successive relationship I begin never gets to the level Mike and Marie had shown at age 18. Would I trade it all? I can’t really say, though I sometimes really wonder who is really better off.

24 day four, 2:00pm-3:00pm

2005-02-07T22:05:00.000-08:00

Well then. Not the most action-heavy episode, but some major plot points get resolved.

The excitement of Tony returning is tempered with the realization of what exactly happened to him after season 3. Life has not been kind to Tony, after getting pardoned by Palmer, he couldn't ever find work after being branded a traitor, he turned to alcohol, and eventually Michelle left him. We find out that Michelle is now an assistant director at Division, so the likelihood of her returning is very high. Anyway, Tony lives in a shitty house with a new girlfriend that doesn't hold a candle to Michelle, but that's the life you might lead if you were branded a traitor to your country. Beats federal prison. I did like Tony pouring the beer in the Cubs mug, an inside joke you would only get if you paid attention to the first 3 seasons.

Meanwhile back at CTU, Talk Soup girl has framed the way-too-hot-to-be-working-for-the-government Sarah for her own leaking of information. Sarah is taken to holding so they can make with the torture (because it's been what, 2 hours since the last torture sequence?) Edgar, the good guy who is also a geek, does some clever digging to reveal that Talk Soup girl is the real mole. The scene was very reminiscent of when Gaiel was being tortured and Tony had to practically rise from the dead for them to stop it. I really like edgar, annoying accent and all.

Berus' metamorphosis into a competent action hero continues as he takes charge in the hospital after a doctor with good intentions called the cops concerning the mother's gunshot wound. Meanwhile, across town, the father acts like an ineffective pussy and just sits around while the Mummy won't let him help with the terrorism. The father has to "clean up his mess" as the Mummy puts it, so I predict that Berus will kill his dad sometime this season. This Araz family subplot has to be going somewhere because they've been dropping or resolving a lot of subplots recently. I predict good things when Berus and Jack's paths eventually cross.

Finally, Jack has the secret service take Audrey away to spare the audience the stress of having her tag along with Jack any longer. Talk Soup girl is exposed, and makes an escape attempt that gets foiled by the black guy who is obviously "Black Tony" I haven't caught his name yet, so I'll call him black Tony until I figure it out. Talk Soup girl's car blows up, and she bonks her head, so I expect either memory loss or a death coming up in order to complicate things. The white terrorist guy tries to make a helicopter escape, but Jack and Tony (in action hero mode!) stop him just in time.... When out of NOWHERE, he gets shot by some sniper, so they've got nothing as of now. I guess they could find the sniper, but I doubt he'd know anything.

All in all, a solid episode that got really good at the end. But maybe my judgment is clouded now that Tony is back.

Batman Begins super bowl spot

2005-02-06T20:32:00.000-08:00

So, the game was good, even if the team I liked didn't win. I enjoyed the game.

The highlight however, was the Batman Begins trailer.

Don't read what I have to say, click here, and see it for yourself.

Stores that suck

2005-02-05T23:59:00.000-08:00

I had a full day, taking my brother out to have some fun, we went to a lot of stores all over the place, and I feel as though I need to caution against a few stores.

Hot Topic: My brother wanted a Green Day t-shirt, so this was basically our only choice. What a shitty store, you know that weird feeling you got in high school from those ugly kids who wern't quite goth because they laughed and actually had some social interaction? This store is the nexus of that feeling. For a store that tries so hard to be rebellious and edgy, this is the nerdiest place on earth this side of Comp USA. The worst clothes in the world, the worst music in the world, and the dumbest staff I've ever come accross. Not quite hell on earth, but close.

Manga House: Yeah, this might be all that familliar to some of you, I think it could be a SoCal only sort of deal, but this place blows. This is the where nerds buy their porn. This is where little bastard children buy their dumb cards. It's just an awful place, but my brother digs manga, so this is where he wanted to go. He never actually bought anything because it's all overpriced, but it was quite an experience. At least the cashier guy never acknowleged my presence.

K-Mart: Truly the worlds shittiest store. Hell on earth. the 99 cent store beats this only because the stuff is so cheap, but barely. K-Mart is in the tradition of big stores like Wal-Mart and Target, and it's set up exactly like the latter, except the aisles are a lot wider and the shelves are a lot emptier. Lots of open space in here, not a lot of customers. My brother and I went in as a goof, and were thoroughly creeped out by what we saw. The scum of the earth shop there and the employees hate them. Still, it's the only place on earth you can find a Little Ceasars. Not that I'd eat there or anything.

Your Mind is a Weapon: Channel Zero

2005-02-04T21:38:00.000-08:00

Channel Zero will change the way you look at comics.

Honestly, I'm still processing it right now, and I've only read it twice. The style is so unorthodox that it might be a bit jarring when reading the first say, 5 pages, but then you go back and re-read those first 5 pages and it reads better and clearer than any comic in recent memory. I don't know how Brian Wood does it, but he's invented a way of comic storytelling that is direct and urgent and unbelieveably compelling. Go out and buy this comic. If your local shop is worth a damn, they'll have a copy or at least will be able to order one. If they have no way of getting this piece of comic genius in your hands, you should kick them in the nuts or something. Bastards.

I'm on a Brian Wood kick currently, I've bought as many issues of DEMO as my store had, and the rest I've ordered. I have no idea how this guy's work escaped my notice for so long, but I intend to correct matters in the future. Tomorrow or the next day, I'll put up reviews of maybe half of the books I have, with more to come later.

What the hell is up with Michael Jackson?

2005-02-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

So, the guy's trial is starting up, and I feel a profound sense of sadness. Not because people are out to get Micheal, but I'm sad that Michael's life has devolved to the point where he has no idea that what he did was wrong.

When I was 8 or 9 years old, I was a HUGE Michael Jackson fan. This was the post "Bad" pre "Dangerous" portion of his career, when things really began to fall apart. I was oblivious to it, I knew something was happening with him, and it wasn't music related, but I never really knew what it was. Later on, it became aparent to me that Michael wasn't right in the head, and it disappointed me. There was still some doubt, however about whether or not he really molested the kid, maybe some parents were taking advantage of his kindness and making things up? As I got older though, and I prefered other kinds of music, Michael became even weirder, and I became sure that he was a child molester.

It became harder to think anything but that once all the new allegations began coming out about the jesus juice and the sleepovers and all that crap. It also became apparent to me that he has no idea that it ain't right to molest kids. He thinks he's showing them love, which makes it less outragous and more sad. Sure, these kids are fucked for life and it's tragic and Michael should be punished, but in a way, so is Michael. He's been fucked for life for a long time, he just doesn't know it. This is an example of what happens when you allow a crazy person to do whatever they want, and give them unlimited money. The real criminals here are his parents, because who do you blame? Frankenstein or his monster? The monster doesn't know any better, he's working with the tools he recieved and using only the brain that was formed for him, it was Frankenstein that created him, that unleashed the monster on the world.

According to the law, yes, Michael needs to be punished for his crimes. He's an adult, he's a grown man. But it is sad and unfortunate that his parent's can't be charged with something. It is sad and unfortunate that there aren't any laws against creating monsters.

Comic reviews, February 2nd

2005-02-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

One big release and some more mid-sized books are put out today. Here goes...

David Lapham's "City of crime" continues with Detective Comics #803
Honestly, I'm not completely sure what's going on here. There is really so much text here that it requires multiple readings. Apparently, there is a missing girl or possibly many missing girls. It has something to do with a black market baby market that the Penguin is involved with, Mr Freeze, an apartment building fire, and something Bruce Wayne said to a rich heiress. I'll read all these issues in one sitting when they all come out, but right now it just seems like awful things happening to awful people. And Batman is in there somewhere.

On a less depressing note is The Intimates #4
I'm still not sure what to make of this book. As far as I can tell, it's basically Saved By The Bell with superpowers. An episodic series about unrelatable yet relatable characters in disjointed stories about living in a superhero high school. It's the school dance issue, and all the characters are their usual selves. Punchy is annoying, Destra is rebellious, Duke is aloof, Empty Vee is fat. Destra ends up dancing with Duke, which annoys Punchy who is unable to admit to having feelings for anyone. What this series needs is a character the reader can latch onto which takes us INTO the school. As of now, I just feel like an outsider looking in, but perhaps that was the intention.

The best book of the week was (surprise!) The New Avengers #3
The prison break is over, but the task of tracking down the escapees remains. Captain America decides that its time for a new team to form to finish the job, and goes about recruiting the heroes who helped with the breakout. Unsurprisingly, Spider-Man is the first to be recruited. Looking beaten up, Spidey is reluctant to join up with Cap, but finally comes around when Cap gives him the out. I really liked this element, Spidey has always been reluctant to join a team, and remains this way. The wording in which he joined, how he can leave whenever he wants to, really rings true for the character, and the comedy when he asks if he's gonna get payed is very well done. Luke Cage is next, and joins in a touching scene where he wants his future daughter to know that her father was an Avenger. Daredevil turns down the invitation, understandably, what role he'll play in the future is still unknown. Finally, Cap invites Jessica Drew, Spider-Woman in a simply stunning scene. Normally I don't find female comic characters to be attractive, but something about how she is drawn is just absolutely gorgeous... Yes, I admit to being a huge geek for saying that. What's curious about the issue is the fact that aside from being on the cover and one splash page, the Sentry isn't mentioned ONCE. This may stem from whatever mental block everyone has concerning the Sentry left over from his miniseries. And finally, the plot thickens with the last page.

The letters page is also worth mentioning, only for the letter from the crazy fan demanding an apology for the tone this other letter got in the last issue, only to be followed up with a letter from Stan Lee himself. Very cool stuff, but it also serves to illustrate my point from a few days ago about how old school avengers fans are fucking creeps.

Also great this week was Phoenix: Endsong #2
The recap page helps a lot in understanding what exactly happened last issue, so the Phoenix was awakened prematurely and is insane, looking for Cyclops because that part of Jean's mind is imprinted on the Phoenix consciousness. So the team hangs out and looks pretty thanks to Greg Land's art, and somehow Quentin Quire reforms and escapes, looking for Sophie, one of Emma's Stepford Cuckoos, the one who died back in "Riot at Xavier's" Having an insane Phoenix and Quentin Quire roaming the mansion grounds is a bad thing, and it seems that in the next issue, the two will meet. Probably the thing about this book that I like the most is how Greg Pak continues a thread that was created back in Grant Morrison's historic New X-Men run. Not only does Pak respect Morrison's run, he understands it, which is something I can't say for the X-Men editors. Either way, I'm excited to see how this ends up, whether or not Jean ends up alive again by the end of it.

On a more confusing note is Superman #213
10 issues in and I still have no idea what the fuck is going on. It has something to do with the Phantom Zone, and some middle-eastern people, but everyone is talking so fucking cryptically, that I can't get into it upon its intitial reading. Like Detective Comics, I plan on reading each issue all at the same time when I get them all, some understanding might be reached them, but right now it just reads like a criminal misuse of Jim Lee's talents.
*I couldn't find a cover for this issue online anywhere

Keeping up the Superman analogue this week is Supreme Power #15
Man, all the characters in this book are really fucked up. Just when you think Hyperion is a good guy, he pulls some shit like he did in the restaurant. He's the most powerful man on the planet, and he sure is acting like it. The only redeemable character is the super-fast one, but I don't think he's called the whizzer here. Aside from that, the super-powered serial killer is locked up and then put to good use, as a killing soldier that operates in foreign countries, killing government leaders until one that the United States likes comes into power. There really don't seem to be too many heroes in this book, and it's becoming quite dark, but I like it for being the most realistic depiction of super-powers I've ever seen.

Finally this week is Ultimate Spider-Man #72
Harry Osborn comes back into Peter's life, and we gain some insight into how things were before Peter got bit by that spider. Turns out that Harry and MJ were dating back then, but he would never be public about their relationship, so she eventually moved on to Peter. Harry also reveals that he still knows that Peter is Spider-Man, and isn't very happy about it at all. Filling in the superhero quota this issue is Spidey kicking the crap out of someone who I believe is Killer Shrike, though it really isn't important. This "Hobogolin" arc seems pretty good so far.

So, that does it for this week's books. Later this week I'll be getting into Brian Wood's DEMO series, that I just started picking up back-issues of. I'll try to review the first 6 issues, and leave the last 6 for next week.

One month down...

2005-02-01T22:03:00.000-08:00

So, this is harder than I thought.

I like having a set time certain posts get made, I figure that Monday and Wednesdays are covered for a while, but coming up with something (semi) new to say every day is not easy.

That being said, this is a lot of fun. You wouldn't believe how much this relieves stress once an entry is finished. Like, whatever thoughts I keep in my head are excised every night, it's therapudic.

Is this making my writing any better? I'm not sure. Maybe the classes I'm taking will begin to pay off here, or they'll just pay off in my homework. I will say though, that a 10 page report isn't as daunting now as it was last year.

One month down, 11 to go.

24 day four, 1:00pm-2:00pm

2005-01-31T22:19:00.000-08:00

While last episode was the big action set-piece, this one was far more rewarding for someone like me, who's been watching since season one.

First, the scope of the nuclear power plant threat has been toned down immensely, which is better in the long run. The geek Edgar gets his cool scene, and talk soup girl lurks around and doesn’t do much.

The middle-eastern kid who killed the other dude with the shovel acts all panicky, and calls his mom for help, she decides to help him by going against her husband, and gets shot in the arm as a result. The husband in turn, goes to the even bigger bad guy, the guy who played the Mummy in the Mummy movies a few years ago. Now that we know who the big bad guy is, I expect the lower level baddie, the husband to get killed pretty soon.

Audrey's sniveling limey husband acts like a pussy all episode, which is sure to lead somewhere that isn't good for Jack, and Driscoll's nut job daughter freaks out some more. Apparently, someone switched her charts so she got a medication she was allergic to. I expect this to go somewhere, because they wouldn't keep a lame plot like this going this long without some eventual payoff.

Speaking of lame plots, they let the Secretary of Defense's son go free. I guess they weren’t sure what to do with him, so they dropped his character. Too bad, I thought it was going somewhere.

But finally, we get the moment we've been waiting for. Jack comes under fire, and he can't trust anyone at CTU because he thinks there's a mole there (because there is), so he calls "the one person I can trust". We don’t find out who he calls until Jack is about to get shot, and then TONY saves the day.

YAY! TONY! Suddenly TONY is an action hero, he guns down all these thugs and Jack, Audrey and him take off. This raises some questions. First, I thought TONY was gonna go to prison at the end of last season. Now that he obviously ISN'T in prison, where is Michelle? And how long did Jack know he wasn't in prison? Questions that are probably gonna get answered next week. I can't wait.

OMG TEH COACHELLA LINE-UP!!!!!

2005-01-31T13:51:00.000-08:00

The line-up for this years coachella is up today, and its BETTER than I thought it would be.

Night one has Coldplay, Weezer, The Chemical Brothers, Rilo Kiley, Mercury Rev, The Secret Machines, MF Doom, Josh Wink, and lots more.

Night two is even better. NINE INCH NAILS, New Order, Bright Eyes, THE PRODIGY, The Arcade Fire, The Firey Furnaces, Autolux, The Bravery, and lots more.

I'm buying tickets as soon as I can, my friend has Pre-Sale hook-ups, and I'm booking my hotel room asap.

Tune in later for tonights 24 review.

I <3 The Chemical Brothers

2005-01-30T21:16:00.000-08:00

Maybe because I've got a new surround sound system, or I got a good system in my car, or the new album kicked my ass so hard, but I've been listening to the Chemical Brothers a lot lately. I've been going to the gym a lot lately, another thing I do every day, and their albums are what I've been listening to on my iPod. I've always been looking for the perfect type of music to listen to while I'm doing half an hour on a freaking treadmill. It can't be slow, or have weird slow moments, lots of rock music does that for some reason, and it doesn't make for a quality sweating experience.

So, after listening to "Push the Button" a few times at the gym, I loaded their other albums on the iPod, and they work great. I listened to "Dig your own hole" last night and plan on trying "Surrender" tonight. After getting on a big getting healthy kick, I buy music according to what sounds good while I'm working out, and the Chemical Brothers are right up my alley.

Not to say that electronic music is perfect working out music, 90% of electronic is unfit for human ears, but the Chems manage to be inventive, experimental, psychedelic, and ROCKING at the same time.

More music news

2005-01-29T22:52:00.000-08:00

I have it on good authority that Nine Inch Nails, as well as like 50 other bands that are better than your favorite are going to be playing at this years Coachella Valley Music and Arts festival out in Indio California. It's April 30th and May 1st this year, and I am going because I have ticket hook-ups.

This will no doubt fuck up my bloging schedule, so I'll have to do double entries on one day or a few days, depending on how long I'm gone.

Also, the first single from NIN's new album is going to be entitled "The hand that feeds" Look for it in March.

AVENGERS DISASSEMBLE!!

2005-01-28T22:53:00.000-08:00

Avengers Disassembled
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: David Finch
Inker: Danny Miki
Colorist: Frank D'Armata

I never gave a shit about the Avengers. I looked at that book and saw, as Warren Ellis puts it, “Adventures From Dad Mansion.” The concept just bored me to tears. What the fuck is the Avengers charter? Why should I care? It felt like a stuffy fraternity or boring old men. It was a comic that grown men in their 40’s read, or virgin 20-somethings that acted like they were in their 40’s. This was not a fun comic, aside from a few main players, this was a team of cookie-cutter B and C list characters, written and drawn for the most part by B and C list talent.

So, maybe because of all this, I was intrigued at the idea of killing/ending the team. When I learned that the creative team behind the final story was A-list, I was even more intrigued. I was expecting a huge body count, and for the Avengers to be thoroughly decimated, going out with a bang, if you will.

I didn’t get what I expected.

Avengers Disassembled ended up being probably the third most hated story arc of 2004. Third behind Identity Crisis and Sin’s Past, or first depending on whom you ask. The trend I noticed in these books was that they were all about deconstruction, and each featured something really bad happening to a beloved character. I couldn’t figure out why exactly they were hated so much at first, I thought that surely comics like the new Alpha Flight and X-Force were deserving of more hate, but what it comes down to is that these top three hated comics fucked with the status quo. And fanboys LOVE the status quo. Not to imply that these comic’s weren’t without their share of problems. Identity Crisis had possibly the most disappointing last issue I’ve ever read, and Sins Past was really just another iteration of the Spidey/Gwen/Green Goblin story. It’s just that the majority of the criticisms I read never really mentioned those points.

I can understand some of the criticisms of Disassembled. If I had a favorite book and it was ripped out from under me, I’d be understandably pissed, but at the same time I don’t really care about 40 year olds getting their enjoyment from the adventures from dad mansion. This could just be my youthful nihilism speaking, but on some level, I reveled in the idea of people much older than me having their toys snatched away from them. Yes, I had a bias. But again, I’m not saying that this story was free of flaws, it had its share.

It opened with my stereotypical view of the Avengers, costumed heroes hanging out in a mansion. The fraternal order of boring superheroes having breakfast. In full costume. That right there is the reason I never cared about the Avengers, thankfully, the huge explodo happens and the story begins. 2 heroes go down immediately, the kinda already dead Jack of Hearts, and the second Ant-Man. Rest in peace, lame characters. The team assembles at the crater the explosion caused, and finally the very lame Vision shows up, operating under an as-yet unseen influence. Vision basically decomposes in front of the team while producing five Ultron robots. I’d call this a pretty cool scene if it wasn’t for some of the dialogue. As much as I hate them for it, the Avengers are stuffy professional superheroes, and they simply weren’t talking like it. Beyond that, it was a perfectly acceptable action scene. The Ultrons are dispatched, but this leads to She-Hulk freaking out. After reading the script for the issue, I noted that there should have been an indication that some outside force was making her hulk out; unfortunately the art did not reflect this. Ultimately, the she-hulk freak out scene didn’t mean anything because Iron Man shows up to knock her out. The team gets a chance to breathe and treat it’s injured, and at least put away it’s dead. Within this stretch is the Hank and Jan scene that apparently is the worst characterization of Hank ever. I’ve never cared about Hank Pym ever in my entire life, nor have I knowingly read anything featuring him, so the hatred of this scene kind of flies over my head. Ok oldies, you hate it, I’ll take your word for it, but you know what Bendis? you can shit on Pym all you want. He never meant a thing to me.

Following the gross mischaracterization is a big conversation scene, which Bendis is basically famous for. Again, this scene falls flat because they just don’t sound like themselves. Bendis is famous for the naturalistic way he writes dialogue. Unfortunately, these characters don’t lend themselves to a naturalistic, conversational tone. Maybe Hawkeye does, and perhaps Falcon, but Iron Man and Hank Pym are professionals and rather stuffy and boring, they probably wouldn’t sound like regular people. Thankfully, Captain America doesn’t say much, so I think that characterization is right on the money.

Following that scene is the giant mass of superheroes. It’s just a big mess of characters just standing there. I’m convinced that this scene exists in order for the solicitations to read, “featuring EVERY AVENGER EVER!!!” A scene like this could be problematic for Bendis because he’s never written most of these characters; this is a scene that is just begging for fanboys to tear to shreds for inconsistencies and mischaracterizations. Thankfully, only a few characters talk, and what they say is pretty mundane, so the scene ends up working,

The big meeting is cut short by the next big action scene, and the scene where much of the hatred is focused upon. Apparently, hundreds of Kree warships descend upon the still-burning Avengers Mansion, looking for a fight. The action commences, and it very clearly isn’t making a whole lot of sense. Why are the Kree showing up? Why at that moment? Stuff like that. Hawkeye shows up with like 50 quivers full of arrows, and we’re treated to perhaps the most confusing death scene in modern comics history.

It goes like this: Hawkeye gets shot in the back by some energy beam, it lights his arrows in fire, so he decides to grab a Kree soldier and use his jetpack to fly into the exhaust of the Kree mothership, killing them both.

Now, what the fuck?

Hawkeye offs himself because of that? Sorry, but I don’t buy it. So, for the first time ever, I’ll be doing my own comic writing, hopefully improving the existing scene.

Page 15
Panel 1
Shot from behind Hawkeye aiming his arrow at a group of Kree soldiers
Hawkeye: YOU ALIEN BASTARDS CHOSE THE WRONG DAY TO SCREW WITH THIS AVENGER!!

Panel 2
Hawkeye leaps over the group, kicking one in the head while avoiding blasts coming from the mother ship. These blasts are huge, maybe disintegrating some hapless Kree soldier behind him.
Hawkeye: IN THE FUTURE, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS-

Panel 3
BOOM! Hawkeye is hit from behind by a HUGE blast to his lower back and legs. One of his quivers instantly explodes setting fire to the rest of them. This looks REALLY PAINFUL
Hawkeye: AAGHH!

Panel 4
Shot from above Hawkeye, he’s sprawled out on the ground, face down. His legs are noticeable broken, bloody and burnt. There’s no way he’ll be walking for a while. The fire on his back should be slightly larger than in panel 3
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 5
Close up of Captain America as he’s fighting some Kree soldier. He just saw what happened to Hawkeye
Captain America: HAWKEYE!!

Panel 6
Close-up as Hawkeye weakly looks up. Blood is coming from his mouth and nose, his left arm is broken. Clearly, he’s never been this messed up before. The fire on his quiver should still be visible.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 7
Close up on Captain America, he swats away another Kree soldier, and hasn’t taken his eyes off Hawkeye.
Captain America: OH MY GOD… HIS EXPLODING ARROWS…

Panel 8
Wide shot of Hawkeye lying on the ground, propped up by his good arm, looking up to see a smiling Kree soldier standing over him. The soldier is pointing his gun straight at Hawkeye’s face. The fire on the quiver should be burning still.
Kree soldier: (random threatening Kree language)

Page 16
Panel 1
Tight shot of Hawkeye’s face as he looks at the ground. Still bloody, he thinks that this is the end.
Hawkeye: (muttering faintly) not like this…

Panel 2
Shot from behind Hawkeye’s head as it quickly lifts back up. The Kree soldier looks worried.
Hawkeye: NOT LIKE THIS

Panel 3
In one last act of desperation, Hawkeye lunges at the Kree Soldier’s gun, grabbing his arm, and pulling the Kree soldier in closer.
Hawkeye: LIKE THIS!!!!

Panel 4
Hawkeye is holding the Kree soldier in close with his broken arm, and using his good arm to grab the control to the Kree soldier’s jetpack.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 5
Hawkeye and the Kree soldier lift off, flying away very quickly.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 6
Big panel, should take up half the page. Wide shot of the Kree Mothership, two figures fly into the exhaust port of the ship, leaving a trail of smoke behind. The ground should still be visible, and we can make out Captain America futilely running after them.
Captain America: HAWKEYE!! NO!!!

Page 17
Full page shot. View is from behind the heroes as they witness the Kree Mothership EXPLODING from the inside.
Captain America: NOOOOO!!!!!

And scene.

So there, I feel as though I did a better job. At least a clearer job. Anyhow, after Hawkeye dies, the “Kree soldiers” retreat or teleport away. And the Avengers are left with a lot of questions. Thankfully, Doctor Strange shows up to EXPLAIN THE PLOT.

Turns out that it was all Scarlet Witches doing, she’s been nuts for a long time, or at least been going nuts for a while, and her powers have been making reality all wonky. Her powers get a new definition as well, but it only serves to make the story more confusing. Doctor Strange explains the plot some more, and the big group of heroes just stands there and struggles to believe it. Wonder Man refusing to believe it was a nice touch, but I suppose he comes around when they all make a field trip to some house that Wanda is being crazy in. She finally acts crazy and creates all these illusions of what the heroes fear the most. Spidey fighting his clones was cool, but the fight basically only lasted one panel. Doctor Strange saves the day by turning Wanda into a vegetable, and then the Avengers all act like complete morons as they hand her over to freaking MAGNETO, who when last seen was turning Manhattan into a death camp. Maybe Wanda caused that too. Who knows?

It just doesn’t make any sense. For starters, what’s the deal with Magneto showing up? It’s just a continuity nightmare, and I normally don’t care about continuity. Luckily, I guess, Bendis has turned Wanda into a living plot devise. She can be the explanation for EVERY continuity mishap and mischaracterization in the last decade, and be used at a later date to fix all the future problems. Yes, this is fucking retarded, but it has a function.

Because of all this, the Avengers disband. At least some of them, and the rest are just forced to go solo. In Avengers Finale, the team reminisces about their past exploits, triumphs and tragedies. It was a good issue, but fell flat for me because I never read any of those comics, but it served its purpose.

In the end, whether you liked it or not, was Disassembled a success? I think so. What this led into was a huge surge in sales. Bendis came on Avengers, and the sales doubled. They doubled again when New Avengers started. Sales also spiked for the re-launches of Iron Man and Captain America, and are going stronger than they have been for a while. There is a belief that positive change can only come from destroying the old status quo, and I believe Disassembled is an example of that. No, the story wasn’t that good, but it wasn’t terrible either. It didn’t use rape as a trivial plot devise or exhume a played out story to get a mediocre one. Yes, it could have been better. Yes, there are mischaracterizations and plot holes, but beyond all that, it succeeded in it’s mission to get more people to give a shit about the Avengers. It made me a fan, it made me care, it made me buy the books, and I think that’s what counts.

Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning

2005-01-27T22:57:00.000-08:00

OK, between work and class and homework and my addiction to crack - er comics, I didn't get a chance to listen to Digital Ash in a Digital Urn all the way through. I listened the shit out of this one though.

Bright Eyes
I'm Wide Awake It's Morning
Saddle Creek, 2005

I have a weird relationship with Bright Eyes. It's one of those bands/persons/projects that I really dig, but find my self increasingly annoyed by it's fans. You know the type, the girls would rather stare at Conor Oberst than listen to what he has to say or appreciate the layers to his music. It just bugs me. I'll never be able to go to a bright eyes show, I'd just want to hurt everyone in there. Bright Eyes also holds a soft spot in my heart because it was introduced to me 4 years ago by my girlfriend at the time. The music recalls good times.

*ahem*

I was expecting to hate this. The first single released through iTunes, Lua, I barely paid attention to. I gave it like half a listen, and hearing only a weakly played acoustic guitar and faint singing, I decided that the upcoming album would be basically a collection of what I hated most about Lifted. I was wrong. I listened to this the whole way through holding the lyric booklet, reading what he was singing while he was singing it, I found that this made me enjoy it more, or at least sing along a little more effectively. I won't be analyzing the lyrics, because I feel their meaning is left to the listener, and I honestly need to listen to it more. Instead, I'll just talk about how it sounds and what it evokes in me.

At the Bottom of Everything opens in a way similar way to "the Big Picture", without any actual music, but soon explodes into a up tempo acoustic folksy song. Instantly it becomes something I absolutely fell in love with. It's a song that you want to sing along to, preferably with a lot of other people.

We Are Nowhere and it's Now slows the tempo a bit and features backing vocals from Emmylou Harris which sound incredible. Once again, I want to sing along, and learn to play the guitar parts. Just a beautiful song.

Keeping the same tempo is Old Soul Song (for the new world order). Again, it sounds absolutely beautiful, the drumming especially evokes a feeling that you've heard it a million times before and loved it every time.

Slowing the tempo even more is the song I was worried about, Lua. I was so wrong about this song, it's just absolutely heartbreaking what he describes. Yes, the structure of the song is rather repetitive, but that doesn't matter, this is a song that lives through it's lyrics. It must be listened to while reading the lyrics. Absolutely perfect.

Train Under Water feels like a piece of perfect Americana. The soundtrack of driving through some Midwest interstate at night and stopping at some roadside something. These songs are powerful.

First Day of my Life is another (mostly) pure acoustic guitar song. I actually didn't find anything all that remarkable about this song. Just good.

I absolutely adore Another Travelin' Song. It makes me want to go out with my friends to this trucker bar that we found last summer and get plastered. Pure fun.

Land Locked Blues is my favorite guest appearance by Emmylou Harris. Her vocals really enhance this mostly vocal based song. Instruments come in at exactly the right moment. This song owes it's beauty to her voice, its beautiful.

Poison Oak is another mostly acoustic song with huge instrumental parts coming in at the exact right time. Another beautiful song. I really don't want to say too much about these songs because I'm afraid I can't accurately describe them. Mostly, all I can say is 'WOW'.

The album closes with Road to Joy. It's obviously patterned after Ode to Joy, but it works. The entire song feels as though it's building to something, and then slows down, then builds, slows down, and finally builds to a huge climax of wild instruments, crashing drums, blaring horns, and then Oberst repeats the song's first line, and it's just perfect.

absolutely a 10/10 album. You must buy it, or at least listen to it.

Comic reviews, January 26th

2005-01-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

Big week this week. 2 Grant Morrison books, 2 Warren Ellis books, a continuation of Sleeper, and 2 mediocre superhero books. I'll tackle them semi-alphabetically.

"Skin Deep" continues in Amazing Spider-Man #516
So, I just don't care about this story. I don't care about the villain, I really dislike the art for some reason, and there is this really lame flashback that kills the story for me. So, this dork gets caught in a lab accident and gets covered with this metal flesh suit, he comes to Peter to help him, and he conveniently goes insane. That's it. I wasn't given one reason to care, besides that by the end of the story, Peter will move into the Avengers Tower when he officially joins the New Avengers. Mike Deodato's art just ain't doing it for me. It's way too dark, too sketchy, and everyone looks way too photo-referenced. I liked his art on Incredible Hulk back when that book was readable, but it seems like he's rushing himself. Thumbs down, this book is getting dropped.

On a completely different note is JLA: Classified #3
Holy shit this book is awesome. Grant Morrison at his silver-age-loving finest, he's the best writer in comics BY FAR. Each member gets their chance to shine, even the John Stewart Green Lantern, which I don't think Morrison ever wrote before. I could go on and on about how I love this book, but my words wouldn't do it justice. This is the JLA book that every other writer wishes they could write, this is the superhero book that every book wishes it could be. Absolutely perfect from beginning to end.

Continuing with the awesome is Planetary #22
Continuing with the single-issue genre stories, is the Torture of William Leather. If you recall, Leather is the Human Torch analogue of the Four, the evil Fantastic Four that plagues the Planetary team. Back in #18, they captured Leather and I guess he has been strapped to a table ever since. Leather tells of his family, it's one part western comic, one part an analogue of the Shadow. Ellis continues his comic book history lesson, and the main plot creeps forward. The ending is especially chilling; it both reaffirms what Snow learned last issue, but makes you hate Leather even more. Torture was never so fun.

Now, the very interesting Sleeper: Season two #8
This issue does it's best to get you to hate Miss Misery, she kills a bunch of innocent people, beats the shit out of Holden's ex, and she seeming betrays Holden for Tao. I still like her though, go figure. At the heart of it all, she really cares about Holden, but her need to do horrible things to stay healthy really complicates things. People are quadruple-crossing each other at this point. Another awesome comic.

Speaking of awesome, We3 #3
Hands down, the miniseries of the year, and only one issue is out this year. Morrison's animal commandos make their great escape, and it looks absolutely beautiful. Quitely's art combined with his innovative panel designs makes for a simply stunning comic, and Morrison's minimalist dialogue still beats 90% of modern comics. Even if it's a dog and cat talking. And finally, a happy ending for two of our heroes, I was fully expecting a sad, tragic ending, but the fact that this ended on a high note makes it even better. I couldn't recommend this any higher.

Month after month, this comic is far more imaginative than its MU counterpart, proven here in Ultimate Fantastic Four #15
The team pilots the Awesome in the N-zone, and witnesses some incredible sights. Not much happens in the book, but that's not the point. If a comic were judged by how much stuff happens in it, I'd stop reading. The sheer amount of sci-fi in the book is staggering, and none of it is at all unbelievable. So, finally the team discovers an alien space station, and are just about to come aboard, but we see something scary on the inside of the station. Highly recommended.

Last but not least is Ultimate X-Men #55
So, Longshot, Arcade, some fighting, some talking, and then Spiral. There, I saved you the trouble of buying the comic. I found this to be pretty boring, but that might be because it has been available online for a few weeks. This was so-so.

Tomorrow! I attempt to review "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning" and "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn" by Bright Eyes. I said I’d attempt.

Later this week, I'll review the trade of Avengers Disassembled. It's not what you've heard.

The Chemical Brothers - Push the Button

2005-01-25T18:28:00.000-08:00

First, I thought I could review all three CD's today. Whoo boy, I overestimated my abilities.

Between Best buy only having one of the Bright Eyes albums and not the other two, Circuit City having NONE of them, and Tower charging me $18.99 for the Chemical Brothers CD, writing my first music review has been tougher than I thought it would be. It's now 6:30 and I haven't listened to the Bright Eyes albums yet. I did listen to the whole Chems album over the course of the day. I loaded it on my iPod mini and listened to it while at the gym. The Bright Eyes albums will have to wait til Thursday to be reviewed because tomorrow is new comics day. Moving on...

The Chemical Brothers
Push the Button
Astralwerks, 2005

First off, I love the Chemical Brothers. The first time I ever cared about modern music was around 1996-1997, when I bought a Playstation game called Wipeout XL. The game had a soundtrack featuring real techno/electronic/dance music artists. This exposed me to the Prodigy and the Chems. I then spent my allowance immersing myself in British techno. My tastes have branched out since, but I always come back to what got me to love music.

The album opens with the first single, Galvanize. Huge beats and some middle-eastern flavor make this an instantly danceable song. The rapper Q-tip provides the words that really don't seem to mean much, but that's not the point, the song sounds both old school and fully modern at the same time. Incredible album-opener.

Anthony Burgess adds vocals to The Boxer, but he sounds a lot like the lead singer of Jameriquai. This is a pretty straightforward track, built around a playful hook that leads into...

Track 3, Believe. I found this to be fairly similar to "Out of Control" from the Surrender album. Words are provided by Kele Okereke, but it's mostly just the same line repeated over and over, which is pretty standard for the Chems. I'm not complaining. Huge beats, fun song.

Switching gears is Hold Tight London, with vocals from Anna-Lynne Williams, who has a beautiful voice. The song is slower, with a more spiritual, earthy sound. This is music for when you are havin' sex. It'll be used some time this week.

Come Inside opens with what sounds like a sample from "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash, with beats that build until the true song opens. Some vaguely 80's sounding synths accompany the androgynous sounding "would you like to come inside?" vocal samples. There is even cowbell in this song. Awesome.

The Big Jump is a fairly minimalist sounding, beat-heavy track, built around a kraftwerk sounding synth line. Good but not great.

Left Right is basically a rap song with some incredible backing beats. Both the beats and synths sound vaguely blaxploitation era, with vocals from Anwar. This song's political content recalls Eminem's "Mosh” except this sounds leagues better.

After the last track's machismo, Close Your Eyes sounds ethereal and feminine, with vocals from The Magic Numbers, whoever they are. Not a huge sounding dance song, but something more introspective, with an acoustic guitar even. I dig.

The shortest song on the album, Shake Break Bounce sounds more like an intro for the next song, or perhaps to bridge the gap. Nothing spectacular, but it serves it's purpose.

Marvo Ging recalls 1997's, Better Living Through Chemistry-era Fatboy Slim at first, but then gives way to familiar synth string sounds of Exit Planet Dust-era Chems. Fun if not repetitive song.

Closing the album is Surface to Air, which seems to fuse each and every element from the rest of the album into one awesome song. Familiar synths, ethereal soundscapes, minimalist blips, and then big beats end the album.

All in all, I found this to be their most enjoyable album. It sounds as though they've dialed back their self-indulgent tendencies and produced what I think is their best album yet.

9/10

24 day four, 12:00pm-1:00pm

2005-01-24T22:18:00.000-08:00

Holy shit.

Usually, they wait like 12 episodes into the season to do the big action shoot-out. Usually, they wait until the episode after the shoot-out to completely change the plot. This season, they waited 6 episodes. I like the change.

So, stuff blows up real good, Jack snaps necks, and blows terrorists the fuck away, even the Secretary of Defense manages to kill some baddies. Jack manages to save everyone, and he does it within the first 15 minutes. This means that the show needs to end on something bigger this week, and it does.

Finally, Berus, the son in the terrorist family gets his hero turn. After learning about how his parents plan to have him killed, he beats the shit out of his would-be killer, but like a moron, he leaves the body of his girlfriend, the body of the guy he beat the shit out of, and the freaking gun. What a moron.

And so, finally the real terrorist plot is revealed. Using some weird weaponary, they plan to remotely hack into every nuclear power plant in the country and remotely cause a meltdown. This could all be changed though, it's still the first half of the season.

Back on the "reusing old plots" front, this seasons threat feels like a combination of the first 2 seasons. The assassination plot is foiled, so the nuclear plot begins, except it has been stepped up considerably.

And once again, there is a mole inside CTU. Previously, it was Nina, or last season's Gaiel fake-out, and now it's the talk soup chick. I forget her name, but she was the last host of E!'s Talk Soup, and was the first and last black person to ever guest star on Friends.

Tomorrow I'll be doing my first ever new music reviews. 3 big albums come out, the Chemical Brothers "Push the Button" and two new albums from Bright Eyes. It'll be fun.

Sunday, bloody sunday

2005-01-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

I've got nothing to say today because the Steelers lost.

I refuse to post as a form of protest.

I may return with a review of tonights Arrested Development if the mood strikes me.

I am not happy.

Music news UPDATE!

2005-01-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

Nine Inch Nails has confirmed what I heard, Aaron Icarus is the new guitar player for NIN.

And the album comes out May 3rd.

I am happy.

Breaking music news that only me and 5 other people really really care about!

2005-01-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

I just got word from a pretty reliable source that Aaron Icarus (Aaron North) from LA's best band, the Icarus Line, is gonna be the new guitarist for NINE INCH NAILS!!!

Being a big fan of both bands, I'm pretty excited. One thing that concerns me is that this might lend crediblilty to the rumor that the Icarus Line has broken up. Still, I'd rather have him in NIN than a band that he doesn't want to be part of. This is big news.

Buddyhead's best and worst list of 2004

2005-01-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

Buddyhead released their best and worst music list of 2004 today. I was thinking of making up my own, but it would probably have just looked like their list too much, so I'll just post theirs instead, it's worth reading.

The 20 best records of 2004

Autolux
Future Perfect
An exceptional debut from this Los Angeles trio that sounds kinda like My Bloody Valentine meets Sonic Youth (to clarify: the Sonic Youth records where they actually play SONGS, not the ones where they record vacuum cleaners and bang spoons together). They're also kinda like that band Medicine (remember them?) but 10 years later. If that's not enough alone to get your panties moist, then you might find it interesting that their bass player/singer, Eugene, is in the Guns N' Roses "November Rain" video playing violin. No shit. Plus, (let's get a smidge misogynistic right now) their drummer is probably the best female drummer you'll ever see. EVER. Let's just hope they really don't pull some Sonic Youth shit on their sophomore album and record their babies eating boogers and sounds like that kid in the retard class made with the yellow sweat stained "Delaware - The First State" t-shirt that he rocked tight enough you could see the man titties... cause retards are usually fat too if you haven't noticed. Fat and retarded. Why we're bringing this up, we have no idea, but we think the "fat and retarded" reference comes into play below in the "worst of" section where we mention My Chemical Romance. Just giving you the heads up.

The Duke Spirit
Lion Rip / Roll, Spirit, Roll
The best new band from England hands down. The "Roll, Spirit, Roll" ep came out in 2004 properly and blew us away, but the "Lion Rip" album that we've been listening to for quite some time (but doesn't "officially" come out until 2005) is even more amazing. Like The Jesus and Mary Chain fronted by Nico if she figured out how to not sound half retarded when she sang. Nico, by the way, was an exception to the "fat and retarded" rule. Nico was just "hot and retarded". Or whatever, just a fuckin' foreigner. Retarded, foreigner... same thing.

Dungen
Ta Det Lugnt
Yeah, the vocals on this are in some weirdo Euro foreigner language that nobody can understand, but the music is THE SHIT. Just ignore the freaky indecipherable lyrics if they scare you. Foreigners dude... foreigners.

Elliot Smith
From A Basement On The Hill
No metaphors here. Life is fucked, and so are you. And it only gets worse the older you get, so buckle up kiddies. The most important singer-songwriter of our generation's post-mortem masterpiece. Who knew the sound of everything falling apart could be so beautiful?

Two Lone Swordsmen
From The Double Gone Chapel
Dark and sexy. Like the black dudes Tom likes to bang in the shitter. These guys bridge the gap between electronica and the punkabilly swagger of the Cramps.

Devendra Banhart
Rejoicing In The Hands/Nino Rojo
Can you say mushrooms? Only 23 years old, this kid already has a slew of fine recordings under his belt. Prolific indeed! He even released two full-length albums this year alone. They're both so terrific that we couldn't pick a favorite, so we've included them both on this here list. Something both adults and children on hallucinogenic drugs can enjoy. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this youngster doesn't party too hard and become an acid casualty like Syd Barrett, and then write a bunch of songs about bugs, tree bark, and body parts and shit. Oh wait... he already did that.

Big Business
Head For The Shallow
Two guys crafting a heavier sound than most full bands. One dude from Karp and another dude from Murder City Devils. You won't find too many females at their shows, so if you're looking for dick and an in depth conversation about the Lord of the Rings trilogy, you'll be stoked.

Paul Westerberg
Folker
Honestly, this one wasn't that amazing, but homeboy sang for The fuckin' Replacements, so he makes it onto the list automatically.

Deerhoof
Milkman
For a second we thought these guys were telepathically connected to us, and made a concept album centered around that time Tom somehow tricked his hot neighbor (who used to be really buff and one of the American Gladiators) into spending the night, and after making a map of Hawaii on her back, she referred to him as "The Milkman" from then on when they passed each other on the street. Or maybe we just got a little too into the Devendra records and were shrooming a smidge too much too think these guys were reading our minds, or maybe not. Either way, this album rules.

Brian Wilson
Smile
Mr. Wilson is claiming that this one is even better than Pet Sounds. It's good, but not that good gramps. Lace your parents, throw this on, and see how fucking weird shit gets around your house. This is the coolest fat guy we can think of.

Comets On Fire
Blue Cathedral
Another one of those "...On Fire" bands, these guys edged out all the other flamers with this noisy slab of freakout rock. All they gotta do now is figure out what to do about the hair farmer who plays all the boxes with knobs and does the hair-whip the entire show. Knock it off dude. Only band members with guitars strapped on are allowed to do that shit.

Team America: World Police
Soundtrack
"America, Fuck Yeah!" Hands down, single of the year. "Everyone Has AIDS" is a close runner-up though.

Mark Lanegan
Bubblegum
Mark has made yet another solid record, and hot damn that whisky drenched voice sounds better than ever. You'd better agree too, cos if you even glance at this dude cross-eyed, he will beat the life from you. Duff & Izzy from GNR, Josh & Nick from QOTSA, and Polly Jean Harvey all appear on here as well. It's enough alone to make you wanna relapse.

The Hunches
Hobo Sunrise
Proof that the Northwest is still pissed off! Listen to that feedback whine! FUCK YES! This is the sound of a band beating the shit out of rock n' roll, garage, and punk with squealing guitars, pounding drums, and howling vocals. The Hunches will drag you across the floor kicking and screaming and you'll end up liking it, kinda like when Travis' mom comes to town.

Iron & Wine
Our Endless Numbered Days/Woman King
Even more hippy folk shit making our list. This dude is from Florida, has a huge beard, and finger picks. Sounds like something we'd frown upon, but this stuff is as undeniable as Michael Jackson's sexual preference.

Iann Brown
Solarized
Even though this dude hasn't sung in key in concert in his entire life, he's still got it figured out in the studio somehow. This is Iann's best post Stone Roses release by far. He even enlisted the help of Noel from Oasis on the single "Keep What Ya Got", so you know Liam's pissed. We hung out with Iann one day this year, and after he talked at us for a couple hours in his thick Manchester accent, Aaron thought the whole conversation was about tractor farming, and Travis thought it was about hot boxing bollweevils or something.

Magnetic Fields
I
Gay love songs. No, really... songs about homosexual love affairs done so well, even you straight dudes after hearing this will want these Magnetic Fields dudes to raw dog you and then bust on your stomach.

Sunn o)))
White2
Ex-straight edge dudes in robes playing guitars tuned down to Z and bumming EVERYBODY out in a seriously epic way. A really good way to either piss off your neighbors, or talk to whales.

All Night Radio
All Night Radio
The good bands never fucking last do they? All Night Radio made such an awesome, fucked up, psych-pop album that they couldn't even ride it out til the end of the year. They even disbanded via our website in their last interview ever. Too much white heat or maybe it was too much white light. All Night Radio member Jimmy Hey was also playing drums live earlier this year for another best of 2004 listee, Devendra Banhart, and was KILLING IT on the skins. Tune in, turn on and tune out man.

Hot Snakes
Audit In Progress
These hot dudes always manage to snake their way onto our list (editors note: worst pun attempted by Buddyhead... ever). This is the first Hot Snakes album featuring Mario Rubalcaba on drums. This dude was in Clikatat Ikatowi, Black Heart Procession, etc etc, and on this album the drums get pummeled harder than a 6-year-old's asshole at the Neverland Ranch after an all night session of "doctor".

The 20 worst records of 2004

My Chemical Romance
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
How did this geek squad fronted by a porker wearing red eye makeup trick a nation of bedwetting pre-pubescent mall rats and dickriding "music journalists" into thinking that their shitty pop punk band was a real band? Much less a "band to be watched in 2005". So is this like evil Thursday or something? What exactly is going on here? And what's with the kid with the afro doing the solo in that throwaway Blink182 concept video? That kid looks like he could be on some Maury Povich, "I had sex with an Orangutang, and now I have a son" episodes or something. Bizarre.

Gene Simmons
Asshole
Not only is this one of the worst albums of the year, but it could possibly be one of the worst of the millennium. Grandpa covers Prodigy's "Firestarter" here, and it's a lot like that time you accidentally hung out with your dad at a karaoke bar, he got really drunk, and tried to prove he could hang with the young guns by attempting "Paradise City" but sang it in the wrong key, fucked up all the words, and dismembered the song beyond recognition. Not to mention Dave Navarro plays guest guitar on the song, which ups the Hollywood dickhead factor even more. I'll bet a tenner homeboy tracked the fucker with his shirt off. I'll give another tenner to the first one of you out there that spots Dave in public with his shirt on. Hey Dave, PUT YOUR FUCKIN SHIRT ON.

The Datsuns
Outta Sight/Outta Mind
2004 was the year of the sophomore slump for every grossly over-rated band that was shoved down your throat the last 2 years by NME. They all signed their 6 figure record deals, and recorded their "big budget major label debut". These guys did too, and shit the bed worse than your grandma after swallowing 20 bean burritos laced with ex-lax. Possibly the most unmemorable listening experience of the decade so far. Not to mention the old one looks like that Donna that's a lesbian, meets the 60-year-old freakshow guitar player with the stiff back in Motley Crue. By the way, anybody finding themselves at a Motley Crue reunion show falls into one of two categories: old and fat whore, or mongoloid with a snot/saliva problem that smells like salami.

NOFX
The Greatest Songs Ever Written By Us
2004 was a funny year. One of the funniest things was witnessing Nofx and their crusade to "get Bush out of office". These guys thought they were gonna get every lemming at the Warped Tour to register to vote, and they'd spearhead a political revolution. Hey guess what dudes? Too little too late! After 20 years of being the "everything is goofy, skateboarding, fart noises, PARTY" band, you decided this year you finally have a point of view on something besides which Tony Hawk video game was the "sickest", and that all the borderline retarded peckerwood idiots who run in circles to your band in dust fields in Oklahoma were actually going to vote? That's about as likely as you has-been-never-beens knowing when you're too old to be dying your hair and wearing shorts outside. Guess what? The majority of those farmboy lemmings that dig on your Disney punk who did vote, and all hate "sand niggers" and "city folk", probably voted for Bush! Ha! We had to make an exception to the "no compilations" rule of our list for this one. It just struck us as severely funny that a "best of" album would include an hours worth of music spanning 20 years that all sounded EXACTLY THE SAME.

The Libertines
The Libertines
You'd have to smoke crack for this to sound good. Obviously, to the one crackhead prat in the band, they must sound reaaaaally great. This shirtlifter just gets high and breaks into his bandmate's houses when he needs more rock. What a great idea. If only there was a way to ensure that every one of these overhyped, NME, Strokes wannabe bands had a crackhead in it that fucked the band up. We'd all be better off.

Amen
Death Before Musick
This is some 40-year-old trust fund dude dressed up like he's in The Exploited or something who just can't LET IT GO. Dude, you've gone through 567 lineup changes, your music sounds like the screams of a virgin getting raped by gorilla dick, and NOBODY CARES. LET IT GO. THE ONLY REASON ANYBODY WE KNOW TALKS TO YOU IS TO SCAM PILLS OFF YOU, YOU FUCKING POSER. We know Kerrang convinced a few dozen 15-year-old limeys with bad zits in Slipknot shirts that you're "GG Allin meets Iggy meets Jello Biafra", but everybody else knows better. Now, get a real job, put some fucking pants on that don't have cheetah print and zippers all over them, and leave us the fuck alone.

Colonel Claypool's Bucket Of Bernie Brains
The Big Eyeball In The Sky
This is Les Claypool, Buckethead, some 60-year-old dude playing synth, and that dude "Brain" on drums "jamming out". No, we're not making this up. People actually like this. Primus was like the Tupperware of the 90's. Millions of people woke up one morning and thought, "Hey... why the fuck do I own all this shit?" Admit it... you owned some Primus records. At least one. How millions of kids everywhere were tricked into liking some goofball hippies playing splash cymbals and 6 string fretless bass is a modern miracle only the cure for cancer could rival. Apparently there's a few thousand people out there who haven't snapped out of it cuz these guys still tour.

Ashlee Simpson
Autobiography
Watching people listen to this and enjoy it looks exactly the same as this to us. Click HERE

Juliette and the Licks
Like A Bolt of Lightning
Juliette Lewis has played lots of different characters over the course of her acting career. She's played Audrey Griswold in "Christmas Vacation", Mallory Knox in "Natural Born Killers", and Lexie in "My Stepmother Is An Alien!" Now in her most farfetched role yet, she's playing a female front woman who thinks she's Iggy Pop! Backed by Warped Tour band rejects no less. Fucking weak.

The Mooney Suzuki
Alive & Amplified
So we busted these fools for being old and lying about their age, but this time they're not even trying to hide the fact that they can't even write their own songs! They even brought "The Matrix" in on this one... yeah... the songwriting team behind the audio bile that is that little sword-swallowing poser Avril Lavigne. Yeah, these guys are perpetually stuck in the 2002 timewarp where people who hung out at Starbucks, and a couple fruitcakes from Williamsburg that jerk off to Kevin Bacon in "Footloose", actually cared for a second about middle aged geeks making goofy faces onstage in their shitty cover band. These guys are so deep in denial that after they get dropped, you'll still see them wearing sunglasses indoors and making goofy faces while they ask you, "You want relish with that" while working the counter at your local wiener stand. Supersize me bitch!

Tegan & Sara
So Jealous
Are these chicks twins too? Do we have to deal with another sibling duo band here? FUCK. Next thing you know, the Olsen slores are gonna have a band too. As for Tegan & Sara, one of them plays power chords (ala Green Day) while the other one sings like Alvin & The Chipmunks over it. Yeah, you guessed right, they're Canadian.

Helmet
Size Matters
All this record did was make us realize that Helmet probably sucked all along, we just weren't paying close enough attention. This is the reformed Helmet with Page and 3 other washed up metal dudes, who you can catch on the upcoming 2005 "Sno Core" (aka Bro Core) tour with a horde of other shitty short haired nu-metal bands that think of Helmet like most normal people think of the Beatles or Led Zeppelin.

Flogging Molly
Within A Mile Of Home
This is one of those blatant Pogues rip-off bands that people who are too old to be spotted at the Warped Tour, but still think Rancid is "sick" listen to at bars to pretend like they're grownups now in front of their friends. Fuck this goofy Irish shit. Do I look like I wanna dance a jig? Every time I hear this crap I feel like I'm stuck in a Lucky Charms commercial, but instead of a cartoon leprechaun, it's all fat pasty-faced drunk micks speaking in an accent that annoys even deaf people.

Head Automatica
Decadence
Wow, and you thought Glassjaw sucked. This puff took it to a new level with this shit. A mixture of emo, mascara, tight flashy homo shirts, and dancing around pretending to be "on drugs", runs the gamut on this turd. Newsflash diaper boy, what you're doing here is extremely removed from Squeeze, Primal Scream or any of that other shit you're name dropping. Stick to screaming about beating up bitches and straight edge in between trips to the crapper.

The Von Bondies
Pawn Shoppe Heart
We all know the story here... Jack White produces their first album, spends money OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET to fly the band overseas for their first Euro tour, bends over backwards to help them out, and then the sissy boy singer starts talking shit about Jack, only to eventually get called on it via having the piss beat out of him. Not that we're advocates of any kind of tough guy business, but seeing the aftermath of this smug little shit's face getting burgered up didn't really bug us too much. Especially when they used the incident as some kind of publicity stunt to sell more of these terrible nerd-garage rock albums.

Northern State
All City
White chicks... that rap. We've hit the proverbial wall on this one. It was just a matter of time till this plan was put into action. Some scumsucking label guy with a boner for Eminem made this shit happen, and now we're getting the brunt of it. Total poser, white suburban princess talent show shit. We're hoping these girls meet up with DMX soon so he can show them that rap is really about smoking crack, posse anal gangbangs, stealing cars, and breeding pitbulls.

Good Charlotte - The Chronicles of Life & Death
Sum 41 - Chuck
The Used - In Love & Death
Taking Back Sunday - Where You Want To Be
The term "punk rock" was raped harder in 2004 than a kid toucher in jail. Mall Punk has infected the musical landscape in a major way folks. Here's the rundown for those of you who were smart enough to stay away from MTV and the radio: Good Charlotte put out the worst song EVER WRITTEN followed by the worst video EVER MADE in that "I Just Want To Live" song. These dudes are confused: the "goth" one wants to make fruity dance music, but you know, the "punk" one is pissed cause he just got the new Casualties record and that shit is totally blowing his mind, but the singer dude got stoked cause he's on the Warped Tour with all the emo bands so now he's all about sweater vests. And the fat dude in the band is thinking about the destruction he's going to lay on the $5.99 Chinese buffet that's coming up on his hourly "to do list". Yeah, confused. We'll probably get beat up for this shit, but whatever, these guys had to go and write that song and subject us all to it, so fair is fair, you hurt us first. Then we have Sum 41 who are striving to be the pop punk Hatebreed or something. Again, another confused band. Leave the jock metal to dudes that aren't 40 pound citizens of Cana-duh guys. On to the Used, aka "Sickest band on Warped Tour brah". These dudes need to shut the fuck up about how crazy Bert is, cause Bert is just a poser from Utah who just happened to have cable growing up and saw two Nirvana videos. These dudes jock Goldfinger like they're the Stones. ENOUGH FUCKING SAID. Finally, we finish up with the biggest wieners of all of these bands: Taking Back Sunday. These clowns sold 170,000 records in one week, and we were shocked that there were that many crybabies and fat emo girls out there that could convince their parents to give them a ride to the local Wal-Mart so they could buy this garbage.

Chevelle
This Type Of Thinking Could Do Us In
Tool is to Chevelle like Nirvana is to Puddle of Mudd. Misinformed nu-metal apes thinking they're really onto something and pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. Not. This record is as memorable as an early morning piss, and about as enjoyable as an early morning piss full of gonorrhea blood.

The Killers - Hot Fuss
Moving Units - Dangerous Dreams
Bloc Party - S/T
Chinese Stars - A Rare Sensation
The Faint - Wet From Birth
2004 was for "disco-punk" like 1997 was for "ska-punk". You couldn't go to a show without one of the band's drummers doing that uber fruity "disco shuffle" on his hi-hats. Not to sound like a party pooper here, but guess what? I DON'T LIKE DISCO, AND NEITHER DOES ANYBODY ELSE I KNOW. Save that shit for those dudes in West Hollywood who shave their legs and pop viagra and hang around the piss stalls trying to steal a glimpse of your johnce.

Atreyu
The Curse
Wow, this is another one of those bands that have made us wonder if music is inherently a bad thing. Rip off some Maiden riffs, mix it with some Hatebreed and AFI, sprinkle in a bit of mascara, bi-curious experimentation and anal lube, and you have the FRUITIEST BAND SINCE MANOWAR. Yeah dude, this shit is fruitier than George Michael eating a bowl of dick snot soup. Like Right Said Fred if Right Said Fred grew up in Orange County, discovered AFI, and painted their finger nails black. We feel dirty just hearing this shit. This is the new breed of Warped Tour bands, and it's spreading like a bad case of herpes. But these days, instead of the bands wearing board shorts and hanging around Nofx and Pennywise's busses trying to stick their tongues up their asses, this new breed of wankers look like Hot Topic shopping spree winners, and fight each other over who gets to hold the umbrella over Davey Havok's head next in hopes that he'll give up the asspussy.

OMG TEH BONUS COMIC REVIEWS!!!!111

2005-01-20T22:38:00.000-08:00

Face front true believer! A bunch of comics have been released on the internet WEEKS ahead of their on sale date in the MIGHTY MARVEL MANNER!! Actually it's only like 4 of them that I give a shit about, so I'll go over those.

Lets start with the biggest of the releases, The Ultimates 2 #3
This book keeps getting better with every issue. The whole issue is devoted to the Trial of the Hulk, and it moves at a pretty brisk pace. Matt Murdock is his attorney, and does the best job he can to save the life of Bruce Banner, but it just isn't enough. The jury wants the punish the monster who killed those hundreds of people, so an elaborate execution is set up. Banner is drugged by Pym to sleep through the NUCLEAR BLAST designed to kill him while he's left on an abandoned aircraft carrier somewhere in the Pacific ocean. When you think the deed is done, Pym gets a call from a scruffy haired drifter, somewhere in Miami or LA, it seems, thanking him. So, HOORAY! The Hulk lives!

So, I really liked this issue, even reading it off the computer screen. Just a solid one issue story with a very satisfying ending. This is the reason I love comics.

Going back into the regular Marvel Universe is Captain America #3
I'm thinking that this is the best book Marvel puts out. And while yesterday, I said that Brubaker is becoming one of my favorite writers, today he cracked the top 3. International forces begin to take down the other WMD's that the Red Skull planned on setting off to fuel the cosmic cube. Union Jack discovers the London site has already been taken out by AIM agents, and Cap shows up just in time to catch them as they were escaping. This makes for a very cool CAP BEATING ASS scene, where he actually uses something in his utility belt (!!!) and then kicks ass some more. Afterwards, Cap and Sharon Carter enjoy some time off in Paris, while S.H.I.E.L.D. searches for the other bomb. Cap has been noticing lately that his memories are getting jumbled together, he isn't remembering things like he used to, and is having false memories pop up at weird times. I'm sure this will all eventually go somewhere important, but now its just something intriguing going on the background. Finally, an ending that is perhaps more shocking than #1, because it has almost no set-up, but it works because it is so shocking. I won't say what happens, but I'm sure it will have eventual importance. This is maybe my favorite comic being put out currently.

Also coming out in several weeks is MK Spider-Man #11
Remember when I said that shit was really gonna get good with this issue? Well, I was only semi-right. There is an excellent fight scene in the book, but it's not the HUGE fight against the sinister twelve that I thought would be there. Spidey finally gets some support, as the Avengers (pre-disassembled), Fantastic Four, and Daredevil show up to kick the shit out of the baddies. This leaves Spidey with an opportunity to go after the Goblin. What slows him down is Mac Gargan AKA the Scorpion in the Venom costume. I'm not entirely sure what to call him, but they have a big ol' fight, and Spidey drops a building on him. Finally, Spidey confronts the Goblin on the top of the same bridge where he killed Gwen Stacy (and the same bridge where he confronted Gwen's kids, but continuity is screwy these days, so I don't mind) except this time he's got Mary Jane. Next issue promises a big Spidey/Goblin fight that should be very cool. I like.

Finally, is the partial issue of Young Avengers #1, so I'll only give a partial review.
So, I liked this book. I think it spent too long with Jessica Jones at the beginning, but that's alright, I like her. I like the team's interactions with eachother, I like how heroic they are, and there is just the smallest indication that something is up with these kids that makes them not quite what they seem. Of course, Marvel decides not to include the last 3 or so pages, so we're without the big reveal at the end, but I really like what I see. Thumbs up.

Comic reviews, January 19th

2005-01-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

This was a solid week, and I tried one new comic. It was an X-men comic though, so it's not like I'm trying a new drug or anything. Anyhoo, let's get to it.

Peter Milligan begins his run on X-Men #166.
Well, compared to what came before, this is fucking incredible. But compared to all the other comics I read, this was kinda shitty. So, some Morlock type mutants hole themselves up in Antarctica for some reason that isn't apparent in this issue. The X-Men investigate and find some dead, some in a catatonic state, and some violently insane. Fights ensue. So, I did not dig this. Why did mutants choose the South Pole instead of some dudes basement? Why does Havok give a shit that Iceman and Polaris are hooking up? Why is Rogue the only person Emma has a psi-link with? How did Emma suddenly show up there at the end when she was just in the mansion? Even if there are eventually answers to all these questions, it can't just change the fact that I don't give a shit about anyone on this team. Havok is boring, Polaris is boring and crazy, Iceman is boring and annoying, I hate Gambit and I think I hate Rogue more. I just don't care, and Pete Milligan can't change that. Larocca is vastly overrated as well.

On a more positive note is Powers #8
Well, the plot thickens with this issue. Blackguard is dead, except it isn't the real Blackguard; he’s a kid who bought the original blackguard's power jewel off eBay. He was killed on accident by a cop. But why was a cop at that place at that time? Who made the 911 call and alerted the cops to the kid's location? Who took the jewel from the dead kid? And who killed Blackguard's nemesis the Joke? There is a very well crafted mystery going on here, and it's interwoven with Deena hiding her new powers and Walker hiding the fact that he's training the new Retro Girl. I really like this book.

Bendis' hits just keep on coming with Daredevil #69
"the Golden Age" is coming together like puzzle pieces. We know that somehow, Bont has got the Gladiator to kick Murdock's ass, Bont is on MGH, and he was put away by Daredevil back when he was wearing the yellow costume. Now, a new wrinkle presents it's self with Special Agent Del Toro coming into possession of the White Tiger amulets. The scene where Daredevil begins to train her in how to use them puts a huge smile on my face, but I think it's gonna be short lived. Over in another Bendis comic, The New Avengers, there is a mystery member in a yellow and green suit. There is a rumor that this new member is gonna be Iron Fist, which is cool, except Iron Fist doesn't look like that, and I recently discovered that he lost his powers. So here's how I think it will go down: Del Toro is gonna get killed by Bont, in her dying breath, she tells Daredevil to give the amulet to someone who can use it well, and DD chooses Danny Rand, Iron Fist. Rand's experience coupled with the power of the white tiger make him quite formidable, and he eventually joins the New Avengers. As for DD #69, I loved it, gave me a big stupid grin.

Proving that Bendis can't make hits all the time is Ultimate Spider-Man #71
This book was depressing. This is all about Peter's guilt, and don't get me wrong, it makes sense that he has a lot of it, it makes sense that he blames himself for Uncle Ben's death and Gwen's. It’s just getting to be a bit much now. Spidey is supposed to get in wacky adventures and make punchy with the bad guys. Yes, some soul searching is important for his character development, but after coming out of the Carnage arc that was such a bummer, Peter going right back to guilt is kinda hard to take. I still love the book, but lets make with the happy a little more often, alright?

"Enemy of the State" continues with Wolverine #24
I love issue-long fight scenes. So, I loved this comic. This is what Wolverine should be, it should just be nonstop action, and this issue delivers. Wolverine, brainwashed and controlled by the Hand and Hydra is down in Matt Murdock's apartment as part of Hydra's plan to kill, reanimate, brainwash and control superheroes. Of course, the Hand has had their eye on Daredevil for quite some time, but in this case, it was just a ploy to lure out Elektra, who the hand has wanted back for a very long time. Now, some might think, "Elektra controlled by the Hand again???" But really this makes perfect sense. The hand has ALWAYS been after Elektra, so this is just a continuation of that running subplot. Anyways, I especially loved this issue for this quote: "S.H.I.E.L.D. Thinks it's all about the POWERS but it's SKILLS that count. They underestimate the street types. Don't give them enough respect and didn't give them enough protection. But it's the street guys that HAVE to be the best. No FANCY ARMOR or MAGIC HAMMERS keeping them alive out there." I'll take this as a major FUCK YOU to all the douchebags who complain about the New Avengers lineup. I've been in defense of the street guys for YEARS. Thumbs up.

Wanted #6 brings to a close Millar's "supervillain Watchmen."
It's a talkie issue, where Wesley's dad, the original Killer explains the plot to us. Well, alright, it's clever, he wanted to groom his son to be a supervillain so he could be killed with some dignity instead of being taken out by some punk because he's getting old. "Ahhhh, good one" I said while reading it, and I got pretty involved with it while reading the very human emotions the original killer reveals as he's talking to Wesley. I dunno why, but I got kinda emotional, because I can so relate to the very human story between a father and son, not that I can relate to any other part of the story, but a part of me wishes that I could have that same conversation with my own dad. So I'm like, unable to give a review that isn't clouded by emotion, this is the first comic I read that really affected me like this; does it say something about me that the comic in question is Wanted??

Finally, the continuing adventures of my favorite superhero team, in The AUTHORITY: Revolution #4
First, I need to get over the initial shock of an Authority story that takes more than 4 issues to complete. After that, this is a pretty damn good story. The Authority kicks the shit out of the patriots for pretty much the whole issue, which is enough to make it my favorite book of the week, but what puts it over the top is the creative team. Ed Brubaker is fast becoming my favorite writer, and Dustin Nguyen is one of my favorite artists, and a hell of a nice guy to boot. The Authority wins the fight, but their cloaked enemy (I predict The Doctor from the future!), in his own Carrier, turns off the youth of the patriots, making them all unstable and senile, which equals a freaking nuclear explosion right on the lawn of the White House. The Authority is miraculously saved by little Jenny Quantum, after seeing a vision from her past self, Jenny Sparks. As always, the plot thickens, and I'm really digging the direction this book is heading in.

TOMORROW! I'll have BONUS REVIEWS of NEW COMICS that won't come out for WEEKS! HOORAY!!! HUZZAH!!!

P.S. To whoever reads this; could you please just write ANYTHING in the comments? I'd like to figure out if it's just me who reads this or not. So far I counted like 3 people besides me who have read an entry, and I'd like to figure out if there's any more.

The Mars Volta - "The Widow"

2005-01-18T23:07:00.000-08:00

So, "the widow" is availible for download from the iTunes music store. I waited to buy it this way because stuff just sounds better when it's official. Now, this is interesting, they are releasing a sort of a proper single before they release their second album, Frances the Mute. This feels like a shorter, more condensed version of "Televators" from De-loused in the Comatorium, it's kinda slow with big instrumental flourishes as the song goes on.

Whats really interesting is that it sounds like a proper single, but the album is supposed to be like one big 77 minute song, if rumors are to be believed. So, what's the deal here? Either the idea that the album will be a contnuous song is crap, or "the widow" that we've heard so far is really an edited down "single version". If it's the latter, than it looks like this album is gonna get a proper treatment by their label. They've obviously heard it, and have maybe come to the conclusion that it might be more radio-friendly than their first album, which is a good thing for the success of the band.

Though, that could be a bad thing. You remember what happened the last time Cedric Bixler and Omar Lopez got a taste of success.

Nine Inch Nails With Teeth?

2005-01-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

As I said before, Nine Inch Nails is putting out their/his fourth LP sometime early this year, right now the release date is May 3rd, but before that, they are doing a tour. Great news, right? Wrong.

The shockingly surreal news that Nine Inch Nails will be performing in front of an audience again in this lifetime did not come without a catch. That catch is, the performances will be in London, England , while I am in the United States . It's like being told you've won ten million dollars, but the money is in the back of a burning truck that's currently plummeting off a cliff. And since that money is now fish food, I can't afford to pack up and fly out there to witness firsthand the tour.

Then again, one could argue that NIN is attempting to make up for the Lost Weekend debacle, in which thousands of fans were left high and dry after Jerome got sick. Hopefully Jerome's explosive diarrhea will not make an encore appearance. Assuming things actually go as planned and NIN performs brand new material in front of a live audience, I expect bootlegs to be placed directly onto the Internet, it’s like a consolation prize.

I <3 Arrested Development

2005-01-16T23:25:00.000-08:00

I was pretty late to the game on this show. I never watched the first season, but I heard good things. Then, while lurking on the Bendis Board, I noticed all these signature pictures of screen caps from the show with dialogue bits over them. So then everyone on the board was talking the show up, so I caved one day and watched an episode. I thought it was funny, but I didn't understand everything that was going on, so I bought the first season on DVD.

It's maybe the funniest show I've seen in a decade. But then again, a decade ago I was 12. I dunno, I just think saying something is the best whatever in a decade just sounds cool.

Anyway, it's all documentary style, but the camera is never acknowledged by the characters. People cuss but it gets bleeped out, there are second-long flashbacks that make for huge laughs, the characters are all nuts, but based in reality enough that they aren't too weird to relate to.

Plus, my favorite comedian ever, David Cross is a castmember.

Don't get much better than that.

Sweet holy fuck, Resident Evil 4 is awesome!

2005-01-15T23:26:00.000-08:00

A few months back, I was ready to call Halo 2 the best game I've ever played. I guess I spoke too soon. Now it's a toss-up between the two, I really can't decide.

In Halo 2, I feel like I'm the lead in the best action movie I've ever seen. In Resident Evil 4, I feel as though I'm in the tensest horror movie ever, with every moment full of dread, every door I open could lead to a chainsaw-wielding maniac or a scythe swinging cult member.

Suits of armor come alive and Spanish speaking townspeople attack me all at once, I've never played anything this intense before. I've fought 2 enormous trolls (called Los Dos Gigantes) and faced off with a giant salamander while stuck in a tiny boat, armed only with hand-thrown harpoons. It's quite an experience. I'm glad I bought a gamecube, in fact, I's say that this game is reason enough to buy a gamecube if you don't have one already.

The graphics are probably the best I've seen on a console game, the animations are fluid, and the character models are simply incredible. The Dolby Pro Logic II sound is second only to the Dolby Digital 5.1 of the X-Box, but it sounds incredible on my surround system. The control is much like the classic resident evil games, but faster and more intuitive. Finally, the menu system has been streamlined yet expanded, with one large place for weapons, ammo and health items, and another for story items like keys and whatever else that opens doors. There's a lot less back tracking, as you're constantly in new areas, rarely going back into places you've already explored. It's the best Resident Evil game ever.

I highly recommend it to anyone who's got a gamecube, and anyone who doesn't yet wants to play a great game.

I'm not like them, am I?

2005-01-14T23:23:00.000-08:00

I like comic books. I like reading them, I like following the creators on their different projects, I like some of the characters enough to be interested in their continued adventures, I even notice things like continuity, which are really a hindrance to good storytelling, and never really was any kind of big deal at all until the last decade or so, but anyway.

I like comics, but I intensely dislike about 90% of the people who read them. My position on this matter was solidified earlier today when I came across this thread on a message board I frequent.

This concerns a new character that was conceived out of a poll that www.marvel.com ran a month or so ago. They asked what existing character name would the readers like to see given the hero treatment and then introduced in their new Amazing Fantasy comic. Basically, what existing motif would the fans want to see reinterpreted as a hero, kind of like the new Arana character that was previously introduced.

Now, in this thread, the fans were complaining, apparently oblivious that this is EXACTLY what they said they wanted. It became clear to me that only fanboys can find it within themselves to complain , bitch, and moan about Marvel giving them EXACTLY WHAT THEY ASKED FOR. In this instant, I had an epiphany; I hate the people I associate with. I don't tell casual acquaintances that I read comics for fear that I'll be lumped in with THEM. I'm embarrassed to have common interests with the ever-complaining fanboys, it effects me deeply. This can't be healthy.

When I buy my comics each week, I look around the shop at the mostly 30-40-something overweight guys on their lunchbreaks, and I'm afraid that I will be them someday. Something will change inside of me and I will decide to pay money each and every week for stuff that I barely read and dislike most of the time. I'll eagerly buy the latest issue of underwear-on-the-outside-of-the-pants-man and then rush home to bitch about it on the internet. This is a true fear of mine.

I've discovered that those who follow specific writers and artists are generally more happy and well adjusted with what they buy, and far less likely to complain about meaningless continuity minutiae than those who buy the fucking X-Men every month simply because its what they've always done. I think I'm on the right path. I still love comics because they are the most immediate way for a writer to get their pure vision out to their audience, but every once in a while, I ask myself if I'm the same as all those people I dislike.

Warren Ellis' Apparat Singles

2005-01-13T23:43:00.000-08:00

I was gonna review The Pulse and Gotham Central, but frankly, fuck those books. They were NOT entertaining and the art was awful. I think I'm gonna be dropping Gotham Central, and I'll pick up the Pulse again after Michael Lark starts on it. Brent Anderson just ain't doing it for me.

Now then, Warren Ellis is one of my favorite writers, and he's famously been trying to do new things with comics, which is a good thing. He had this idea of "what would comics look like if superheroes never happened?" A good idea, and one worth exploring, so he wrote 4 issues of 4 imaginary comics and gave them to some pretty competent artists, so here they are.

Frank Ironwine is a detective story.
Frank is a supersmart detective modeled after the persona that Ellis gives himself over the Internet. I have no idea if Ellis really drinks like he claims to, or has the ill-defined medical problems that he complains about, but Frank Ironwine is this persona, uh, personified. Anyway, he solves a case involving a dead man, and a dead woman. The murders are related, but not how you'd think. Frank solves the case, and acts just as crabby as 90% of all the other characters Ellis creates. This is not a complaint, I like these characters. The art is by Carla Speed McNeil, and is instantly reminiscent of the art by David Mazzucchelli in Batman: Year one. Thumbs up.

In a similar vein is Simon Spector.
Simon is a private investigator, it seems, and the book has a somewhat sci-fi bent because it clearly happens in the future. Simon takes a missing person case very seriously, so seriously that he puts himself in incredible danger. This is the only one of the Apparat books that appears to be just a piece of a larger serialized narrative. Simon has a back-story that is alluded to, and encounters a villain that he has a very dark history with. This book reminded me a lot of another book Ellis wrote called Scars, not just because Jacen Burrows did the art here as well, but because the plot involves the lead character takes on a case that eventually becomes very personal to him and in the end, receives some closure he's been lacking. I really dug this book, and wouldn't mind seeing a Simon Spector ongoing series.

Next up is Quit City, which really needs to be read to be understood.
Unlike the other books where you could use the cover to figure out what they're about, the plot really doesn't become apparent until about midway through the book. Emma Pierson is a former pilot adventurer; former because she just quit today for reasons that sound believable enough, but you know there has to be more to it. She returns to her hometown and hooks back up with her old friends, but soon discovers that she has unresolved issues with a former boyfriend. This really isn't about flying in planes and dogfighting and being a hero; it's about being a person and having the strength to be better than what you used to be. The art is by Laurenn McCubbin, who Ellis sings the praises of almost weekly on his various blogs. This is my first taste of her art, and I really dig it, I'll look out for her stuff in the future.

Finally, is the truly fucked up Angel Stomp Future.
First, I need to mention that the art is fucking incredible. Some of the most insanely detailed art I’ve ever seen, and will probably ever see unless I find everything else Juan Jose Ryp did. Doctor Angel Antimony is out narrator in this tour of a particularly twisted future where everyone augments themselves with industrial parts and animal noises and nose jobs are what kids do to themselves at Christmas with their toys. Yes, the future looks fucked up, but humanity is still the same, they just have way more options in how they fuck themselves up. I guess that's the message; humanity is humanity no matter what year it is, the outside may change but the insides are imprinted on us forever. I have to admit that I was kinda grossed out by some of what I saw in here, but I suspect that was the intention.

So, there they are. I liked them for the most part, though the $3.50 price tag is kind of steep. Ellis should do this kind of stuff more often.

Comic reviews, January 12th (part 1)

2005-01-12T19:18:00.000-08:00

I got a bunch of books today, and I haven't read them all, so I'll do half tomorrow and half today.

This hasn't been a very inspiring week for comics. Yeah, most of the ones I bought were well written, but the overwhelming message I got from the books was "OH BOY, THINGS ARE GONNA GET GOOD NEXT ISSUE!" Which, is a compelling reason to continue to buy the books, but it really doesn't make you feel too great about the comics already in your hands.

I'll start with my favorite ongoing book, The Ultimates 2 #2
For starters, there's no action. At all. No Cap kicking ass, no super badass moments of any kind. Sigh. What there is, is plot advancement, sort of. We see our first hints that The United States isn’t the only ones putting together a super-team. The European Union is putting together a fairly formidable team, but they require the help of Tony Stark in a new suit of Iron Man armor to move a nuclear submarine to safety. Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch continue their really creepy relationship on board a gondola in Venice, but get called into action when word gets around that someone leaked the true identity of the Hulk. Their first suspect is Thor, so Cap takes a trip to see if what they believe is true. Cap learns that it probably wasn't Thor, and also discovers that he isn't beloved around the country like he thinks he is. Bruce Banner gets a visit from Charles Xavier, but these therapy sessions really don't amount to much because he IS going on trial for all the people he killed as the Hulk, and he WILL get the death penalty. It was a cool scene either way. Finally, the most important part of the issue, where everything gets turned on its head. Hank Pym reveals the eventual plans for the Ultimates; what began as a collection of playboy billionaires and eccentric geniuses is changing into a front for the Military creating a collection of regular soldiers with super-powers.

This development kicked my ass. The Ultimates has always been pretty cynical, but it was always flag-waving, patriotic, and pretty much neo-conservative in its depictions of heroism. In the span of one page, it has got me questioning its authority, and has turned Nick Fury into something of a villain. Mark Millar has always been pretty left leaning, and all of a sudden, his top book is reflecting it. Can't wait for next issue.

Continuing the thread of "shit is gonna get good soon!" is JLA #110
The Crime Syndicate of Amerika is loose on earth, looking for the thing that destroyed and rebuilt their reality in Avengers/JLA. Not much happens besides Ultraman trying and failing to get the Government to cooperate with his efforts, Superwoman and Owl Man trying and failing to have sex, and Power Ring and Johnny Quick trying and eventually succeeding in kicking the ass of Computron and the Rainbow Raiders. Next issue promises the eventual meeting of the CSA and the JLA, but this issue, the League barely appears. If you want a good JLA/CSA story, go check out JLA: Earth 2, it's way better and cheaper than this.

"The Last Stand" continues in MK Spider-Man #10
Once again this week, this issue is all set-up for a fight next issue. Spidey and the Black Cat break Norman Osborn out of prison in order to save Aunt May, but on their way out, they get separated and then ambushed. Osborn has put together a sinister twelve, which looks like it consists of himself the Green Goblin, the Shocker, Hydro-man, Sandman, the Lizard, Electro, the Vulture, Boomerang, 3 people I can't seem to name, and the newly augmented Scorpion. Ya see, Scorpion has been bonded with Spidey's former symbiotic costume, or the alien half of Venom, after Eddie Brock killed himself. Anyway, next issue promises a big fight, which will probably look really cool.

Finally today is MAX Punisher #16
This comic never disappoints. Frank is down at the bottom of an abandoned nuclear missile silo, with the mission of getting a Russian girl out of there so S.H.I.E.L.D. can extract a weaponized virus from her. Only problem is the combination of terrorists and Russian military that want the girl too. Frank expertly kills a whole lot of people in an elevator shaft, but one of Garth Ennis' one-word creations, the Mongolian, sneaks in via the backpack of one very dead fat Russian, and kicks the holy hell out of Frank. Once again, the plot will become more coherent next issue, and we'll probably find out what the hell the purpose of the Islamic terrorists was.

Tomorrow, I'll go over The Pulse #7, Gotham Central #27, and all four of Warren Ellis' Apparat Singles.

The new alternative

2005-01-11T22:38:00.000-08:00

I'm fucking sick of KROQ.

I'm sick of Nirvana.

I'm sick of Sublime.

I'm sick of Social Distortion.

I'm sick of Papa Roach.

I'm sick of 90% of what KROQ plays, absolutely tired of it.

I'm sick of fucking Stryker pretending that goddamn Hoobastank and fucking Good Charlotte are worth listening to.

I'm sick of hearing the same song I've heard a million times before getting played yet again.

Yes, Billy, you are still just a rat in a cage, stop whining about it.

Yes, Bradley and Kurt, you do a lot of drugs and sing about the pain, but I thought you were fucking dead, so when are we allowed to stop caring?

I'm tired of the stupid steakhead rock of the Offspring and Pennywise, I'm tired of hearing the manufactured emotions and rebellion they try to make sound genuine, I'm sick of all of it.

I've had enough of the pretty boy mall emo of Yellowcard, My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, and all the other bands that sound exactly like them, I don't care if they never got laid in high school, I don't want to hear about it.

I'll get violent if I hear fucking Brass Monkey played for the millionth time, or something from the early days of the worthless 311.

Yes, I listen to "indie" 103 now. Yes, I know it's a retarded name. Yes, I know Steve Jones is a worthless prick. Yes, I know they are partially run by clear channel. No, I don't care.

What makes all their negatives invisible to me? The fact that on any given day, I can turn on their station and hear a song that I've NEVER HEARD BEFORE, and when I flip over to KROQ, I hear a song I've heard a MILLION TIMES BEFORE. It's that simple. When KROQ expands their playlist and fires the retarded chucklehead Stryker, I may begin listening again. But it will always be the last resort after Indie 103 and my iPod.

Fuck KROQ.

24 day four, 9:00am-11:00am

2005-01-10T22:05:00.000-08:00

Formulas repeat themselves again. Inner office politics reappear when an outsider enters CTU and blackmails one of the analysts, just like in season 2 when Michelle got blackmailed for helping Jack. An analyst helping Jack while keeping it secret from the superiors is an old 24 trick, and used just as effectively as it always was this time around.

The family connected to terrorism is once again very interesting to watch. Even though they creep me out, I was glad to see the little Mandy Moore clone go down. The son disappointed me, though I suppose he'll have his hero moment later.

The new boss' schizoid daughter is the mountain lion/Michelle's brother/Chase's daughter plot of this season, and I'm glad to see they're getting it out of the way so early, but they could surprise me and have it actually go somewhere.

Jack once again is at odds with local law enforcement, like last season and the first season, and the convenience store hold-up is taken from the second season.

Not to bash it or anything. I still think it's the best hour-long show on TV, but when you've been watching it since day one hour one, you pick up on plot similarities.

The return of the Jack Bauer Power Hour

2005-01-09T22:03:00.000-08:00

Fox premiered the first 2 hours if it's best show, 24, tonight. 24 is a show about a government agent, Jack Bauer, and the season takes place over the course of one day while he tries to foil a terrorist plot.

Jack has foiled assassination attempts, nuclear attacks, bioterrorism, Mexican organized crime, and has even prevented a global war. This season seems to have a lot to do with the first season; his boss and his girlfriend have been kidnapped like in the first season, but like the second season, the terrorists are Middle Eastern. Jack must overcome inner-office politics and personal vendettas in order to save the kidnapped secretary of defense from the threat that has remained vague so far.

It was a very good show tonight; it filled in all the requisite moments. Jack got to maim someone, the teenager character that doesn't know how important he is to the plot gets introduced, and the main threat is vaguely revealed.

There are a lot of new characters this season, in fact, besides Jack and two others that had small roles only last season, the entire cast is new. I miss the old cast, I miss Tony the most, there was something very cool about him even though he never kicked any ass, I miss Michelle, who did actually kick some ass last season and proved very capable in a leadership role. I miss Chase, Jack's right hand man, who got beaten really badly last season, even got his hand chopped off. I miss President Palmer, and hope that this new President won't get the large roll that the old one did. I even miss Kim, Jack's moronic daughter, who actually got useful last season.

Anyway, the new cast looks sorta promising. There is a new boss who seems to hate Jack for unknown reasons, this new second in command guy who seems to be filling Tony's role, a computer girl who's filling Kim's role from last season, and some weird fat guy who is maybe filling Adam's role from last season, or maybe Gael’s.

Jack is dating the secretary of defense's daughter, and working for the guy at the same time, a situation like Chase and Kim were in last season. This situation blends into a situation from the first season when the secretary of defense and his daughter get kidnapped.

There is also a middle-eastern family with ties to the unnamed terrorist plot, much like the family in the second season, but then the ties were much less explicit.

I guess what I'm getting at is that the season so far feels pretty familiar, which makes it appealing to an old viewer, yet has given a new coat of paint to the familiar elements. People could complain that it's just recycling elements from past seasons, but I'd argue that they're just using what works, and freshening it up for whatever new viewers they might get.

Besides, about halfway through the season, the plot twists into something completely new anyway. But I guess that's part of the formula too.

Fighting over the internet is really fucking stupid

2005-01-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

But every once in a while, over the sound of the chest-thumping, the truth emerges.

The truth can be a feeling, an emotion, a belief or a core value, but this truth is the heart of any argument. When this truth is revealed, it almost makes the geekiest exercise one can do worth it.

But not really, it's still really fucking stupid to argue over the internet, even if it results in a mutual understanding. Would you agree, Brian?

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's Saturday night and I've got parties to crash.

Happy birthday Ellie!

2005-01-07T18:36:00.000-08:00

Kind of a non-entry today, but I wanted to post this so she could see it. My sister Ellie turns seven today, and I wanted to wish her a happy birthday even though I can't be there to celebrate with her.

Tomorrow I'll return with something less personal to talk about.

The Libertines (2002-2005)

2005-01-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna keep this short because I'm tired.

The Libertines officially broke up today. This isn't really remarkable because the lead singer, Carl Barat, said that if their drug-addled guitarist didn't clean up his act and return to the band by the end of 2004, he'd end the band instead. Pete Doherty, the guitarist in question decided to remain an addict and become the equivalent of the village idiot to the British music scene, good for him.

I'm not broken up about this, I've been into them for like 2 years, but they never were anything more than a "pretty good" band to me. I say "pretty good" because there are lots of "pretty good" bands to listen to, not really remarkable, but listenable all the same.

The British music press built them up to god-like status before they even released a single, because that's what the British music press does. Open the NME any week and you'll find a new "best band in the world" to salivate over for a limited period of time. The Libertines believed their own hype and some of them started smoking crack. They were a microcosm of the classic rock star fall from grace; they accomplished in 3 years what it takes most bands decades to achieve. This isn't necessarily a good thing necessarily, but it cements them with some kind of mythic status across the Atlantic Ocean.

Let this serve as a lesson to everyone who wants to be a rock god. Get hyped by the NME enough, and you'll only really need to be in a band for 3 years to achieve the level of fame you want. Say what you want about them, but reading about their misadventures was far more entertaining than reading about anything any American band did in the past 5 years.

Comic reviews, January 5th

2005-01-05T18:41:00.000-08:00

It's a good day for new comics. While some fans line up to buy books out of habit, only to complain about them later, I buy comics that I'm fairly sure I'll enjoy. This might make for some boring reviews, but every once in a while, my assumptions are wrong and I buy something that sucks. It happens, but not so much this week.

First, my most anticipated book, New Avengers #2
This was a very fun read. All hell is breaking loose on the Raft, a prison adjacent to Rikers Island, a prison that holds superpowered villains. Electro broke the prison open, and only a small collection of heroes are standing between them and New York City. This is a brutal issue, Spidey gets his arm broken, the Sentry literally rips Carnage in half in Earth's orbit, the violence is pretty strong, and it moves along at a pretty brisk pace. The pacing is perfect, I can't name anything I'd remove to make the book shorter, every moment was necessary. I really dug it.

Second to that in anticipation is Captain America #2
This was better than New Avengers #2, and way better than any Captain America comic I've ever read. The Red Skull is dead, but his plans remain. As Cap says, the Red Skull is never in any place unless he means to, he was planning a major terrorist strike in NYC, but didn't anticipate getting a basketball-sized hole shot through his chest. So, as the Skull lies on a slab, Cap and some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents must figure out what he was doing in the city, and their path leads to some A.I.M. agents and an old enemy of Cap's. Meanwhile back in the crime scene, Nick Fury discovers what the Skull was killed for. This was another very fast paced book, with some 24-esque-action scenes, and some Tom Clancy-esque intrigue. Best book of the week.

I really liked Ultimate X-Men #54
Not a whole lot to say, really, it's the first part of the Longshot story, where we find everyone's favorite mullet-sporting mutant/alien on the run from some of Mojo's goons. He's on the island of Krakoa, being used in kind of a "running man" sort of reality TV show that kills mutant criminals convicted of crimes on another island, Genosha. The X-Men become aware, and send out a team to investigate if Longshot really is a criminal, while a team stays behind and plans to steal a jet and free Longshot without checking to see if he's really a criminal first. Not much to say beyond that, I like the design of Longshot and Mojo, and Dazzler reminds me of every girl I dated from 2000-2002. Good book.

Peter David returns to The Incredible Hulk #77
Well... Hulk smashes. He smashes sea creatures and washes ashore on Monster Island. Then at the end, Banner comes face to face with the Hulk. Weird. I liked the issue, and the ending made me curious enough to want the next issue, but I wouldn't use this issue to convince someone that Peter David is the best Hulk writer ever.

At the suggestion, of my new friend from the CBR board, Jeangreydp, or maybe Superliz6... actually, I'm not sure what to call her yet, but I took her word for it and bought Phoenix: Endsong #1.
Greg Pak is obviously a fan of Grant Morrison's run on the X-Men. This book builds on what was established by Morrison in New X-Men, and creates a believable return of the Phoenix. While other writers erase the impact Morrison had on the x-books and had shitty stories as a result, Pak forms a great story by honoring what came before. Beautiful artwork my Greg Land makes it even better, and the story is really interesting so far. While, on paper, the idea of the return of the phoenix this soon sounds like a terrible idea, in execution, I really liked it. Thumbs up.

Lance Henriksen, HERO

2005-01-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

The second season of the mid 90's TV drama, Millennium, came out on DVD today. To me, the second season is far superior to the first one, it introduced a supernatural element to the show, and it had stories about these Masonic cults, prophecies about the end of the world, angels and demons, and dealt with religion in a way that never preached or belittled it. The first season was literally a new serial killer each week, it was intended to be like Se7en the series, but that got old fast. The series was about Frank Black (no, not the guy from the pixies) who has the ability to get into the mind of a killer. It's not a psychic ability; he just has the ability to become a monster without actually going all the way and doing it.

Lance Henriksen, who people probably remember played Bishop in Aliens, played Frank Black. He was in a lot of shit, like really bad horror films, made for TV movies, and failed pilots, but goddamn he was awesome in this.

Kinda odd how such a great actor, with such a cool voice and very photographable face isn't getting bigger roles in better projects. I'm guessing it's because he's too recognizable, he's typecast like Christopher Reeve was after doing 4 Superman movies, he just can't disappear into a role in a way that makes you forget that you're watching the guy who played bishop, the guy who got ripped in half by the alien queen and did that knife trick with Bill Paxton. Kind of a shame, really.

Anyway, go out and buy the second season of Millennium. Hell, buy the first one too, as long as you don't mind lots of blood. When you're watching, perhaps you'll see what I see, that Lance is a true screen hero, deserving of more than the roles and fame he's had.

I was there first

2005-01-03T22:57:00.000-08:00

Possibly my favorite band, Nine Inch Nails, is coming out with a new album sometime in the first quarter of this year, if Trent Reznor is to be believed. It's reportedly gonna be called "with teeth" after being first known as "bleedthrough". I like "bleedthrough" more, but "with teeth" is growing on me, as far as titles go.

I'm really hoping that it's successful, I'd like it to be a huge selling album, I'd also like for it to be of a high quality, but those things aren't the same. 2004 for me was the year of really great music selling like shit. Prodigy's 7-years-in-the-making "Always outnumbered, never outgunned" blew me away, not only being extremely danceable, but was very textured and had a real sense of style to it. Most dance music doesn't go that deep as to make the listener feel anything, that's what ecstasy is for, but Liam Howlett, the leader of the Prodigy gives a real feeling to his music. Like the Sex Pistols attitude remixed for the 21st century, funneled through the brain of the best beat maker the UK has ever given birth to.

The album sold like shit in America. American audiences didn't get it, or they weren’t even aware that it was released. This could be Maverick record's fault, for not promoting the album AT ALL, or it could be American radio's fault for not having an outlet to play dance music, or it could be Howlett's fault, for not including any vocals on the album. Howlett's stylistic decision to include no vocals works in terms of a great album, but it doesn't lend its self to the single-track radio format, and probably was a factor in American radio stations deciding not to play any of the singles, even though they played the shit out of "Firestarter", "Breathe", and "Smack my Bitch up" from the last album. “AONO” should have been huge, it should have kicked the ass of everyone who listened to it. The problem is that no one took the first step to listen. When people heard it, at least the people I played it for, they really dug it, but they had no idea it even came out.

But I don't want this to become a rant about the American music industry.

This is about how for some reason; I want my favorite music to be successful. For a lot of people, their music is better when kept small, they’d prefer their favorite band stayed small and accessible and for them to not “sell out”. I’m not like this. I want my favorite music to rule the world, I want my favorite bands to become HUGE, I want the music I identify with to become the new epitome of “cool”.

I had a sense of pride when the Killers, a band I was listening to since South by Southwest of 2004, became huge. I didn’t need to tell anyone, but I was listening to that band months before anyone knew who they were, and that’s enough for me. I guess this makes me unique, but I want to the person to first step onto uncharted territory, I want to be OG(fill in the name of the band). Maybe it’s because I need some affirmation that what I’m into is OK to be into, but this is how my brain works.

So, I hope “with teeth” goes 10 times platinum, I really do. I hope whatever singles it spawns get played endlessly on the radio, I hope its videos get played around the clock on whatever channel that plays videos. I want all this because I want to be able to say that I fucking knew it would happen, I knew how awesome the album would be way before the mainstream took notice, I was there first.

What's with manga?

2005-01-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

I buy my brother Manga sometimes. He's 10 and he reads them as if they were laced with angel dust. He'll burn through one of those right to left reading mini-comics in minutes, but when I present him with an American comic, the big kind, he couldn't care less.

I don't get it.

I tried to read his Manga, to see what the big deal was, and I can't stand the fucking things. No color, really really simple plots, infantile art, awful dialogue. I don't understand what he sees in them. Neither does he. He just likes them for whatever reason. He gave me one reason: "it's about ninjas” which, I guess is an answer, but not compelling enough to choose it over Ultimate Spider-Man.

I've decided there are 2 reasons. One is the format. These books are little paperbacks, like maybe 5" by 3". They fit in your pocket, they're sturdy, and they contain a lot of story. Manga is different than American comics in that in Manga, stories end. American comics don't end. Spider-man is continuing the same story that started in 1962, more than 40 years of history, and it will last longer than I will live. Manga is like movies, there can be sequels, but each volume tells a story, and everything you need to know is right in the little book.

While I find American comics superior to their Japanese counterpart, I'll admit that Manga has us beat there. American comics are notoriously hard for a new reader to get into, and its fans are mostly resistant to any new fans moving in on their hobby of choice, it's kinda sad (but more on that in another post). Manga makes it easy, you don't need to buy any back-issues, you don't need to join message boards to figure out what the hell is happening, and fat guys in their 30's aren't gonna get pissed at you when you ask questions.

The second reason is probably exclusive to my brother, but maybe not. Manga is exotic. It comes from a far away land, about a culture unfamiliar to us, and it appeals to a youth culture already raised under the belief that anything Japanese is cutting-edge (nevermind the fact that the Japanese entertainment we get in the states is usually like 5 years old). Kids TV is dominated with Anime imports like Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh, and from almost birth, kids these days are saturated with Japanese culture. Their stuff looks slicker, and it's way cheaper to import cartoons than to make your own.

So, have I come to a conclusion about this? Not at all, I don't understand it all, and I won't because I'm not 10, but I'm working through it, and my quest continues to get my brother to read American comics.

Why am I doing this?

2005-01-01T22:58:00.000-08:00

This is an experiment.

The longest comitment that wasn't forced upon me was for 7 months, I was dating a girl I met in high school and continued after I graduated. I sabotaged the relationship, I'm not sure why, but I felt like I was imprisoned. This blog will prove to myself that I can stick to something. Even if I'm not having sex with it.

The idea is to post something original every day in 2005. This is my new years resolution.

I want to be a writer. I'm a journalism major, and the best piece of advise I ever got is to just write, and write often. I won't be writing fiction, I won't be writing how my day was, I won't be posting poetry about some girl I have a bizarre longing for. What I will be doing is writing opinions and comments about all subjects entertainment related, or just stuff that interests me. The thoughts and opinions need to be original, and I'll use it as a way to write and write often. I have no idea if I'll be any good at this.

Who am I? I'm 22 years old and I live in southern Calfornia. I go to a pretty large university, in their fairly successful school of journalism. I need the journalism degree to get a job as an editor or possibly at a magazine, I'm not interested in newspaper reporting. I'd prefer to work at a magazine like Entertainment Weekly or Rolling Stone. Lofty aspirations, I know, but I figure that if I fail, I'd fall into magazines like Us Weekly or Spin instead.

So, this is an excersize, it's a challenge to see if I can be original and thoughtful for a year. I have some cheats though. I read comics, so I'll spend wednesdays (new comics day) writing about what I thought of my recent purchases. Tuesdays will be spent writing on new music, assuming I bought some. Fridays will be about movies, even if I'm too cheap to go to one.

Anyway, wish me luck. This'll be hard to not fail at.

The improved death of hawkeye

2005-01-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

I'm making this a seperate post so I can more easily link to it without causing people to read my long-winded review of disassembled.

Page 15
Panel 1
Shot from behind Hawkeye aiming his arrow at a group of Kree soldiers
Hawkeye: YOU ALIEN BASTARDS CHOSE THE WRONG DAY TO SCREW WITH THIS AVENGER!!

Panel 2
Hawkeye leaps over the group, kicking one in the head while avoiding blasts coming from the mother ship. These blasts are huge, maybe disintegrating some hapless Kree soldier behind him.
Hawkeye: IN THE FUTURE, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS-

Panel 3
BOOM! Hawkeye is hit from behind by a HUGE blast to his lower back and legs. One of his quivers instantly explodes setting fire to the rest of them. This looks REALLY PAINFUL
Hawkeye: AAGHH!

Panel 4
Shot from above Hawkeye, he’s sprawled out on the ground, face down. His legs are noticeable broken, bloody and burnt. There’s no way he’ll be walking for a while. The fire on his back should be slightly larger than in panel 3
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 5
Close up of Captain America as he’s fighting some Kree soldier. He just saw what happened to Hawkeye
Captain America: HAWKEYE!!

Panel 6
Close-up as Hawkeye weakly looks up. Blood is coming from his mouth and nose, his left arm is broken. Clearly, he’s never been this messed up before. The fire on his quiver should still be visible.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 7
Close up on Captain America, he swats away another Kree soldier, and hasn’t taken his eyes off Hawkeye.
Captain America: OH MY GOD… HIS EXPLODING ARROWS…

Panel 8
Wide shot of Hawkeye lying on the ground, propped up by his good arm, looking up to see a smiling Kree soldier standing over him. The soldier is pointing his gun straight at Hawkeye’s face. The fire on the quiver should be burning still.
Kree soldier: (random threatening Kree language)

Page 16
Panel 1
Tight shot of Hawkeye’s face as he looks at the ground. Still bloody, he thinks that this is the end.
Hawkeye: (muttering faintly) not like this…

Panel 2
Shot from behind Hawkeye’s head as it quickly lifts back up. The Kree soldier looks worried.
Hawkeye: NOT LIKE THIS

Panel 3
In one last act of desperation, Hawkeye lunges at the Kree Soldier’s gun, grabbing his arm, and pulling the Kree soldier in closer.
Hawkeye: LIKE THIS!!!!

Panel 4
Hawkeye is holding the Kree soldier in close with his broken arm, and using his good arm to grab the control to the Kree soldier’s jetpack.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 5
Hawkeye and the Kree soldier lift off, flying away very quickly.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 6
Big panel, should take up half the page. Wide shot of the Kree Mothership, two figures fly into the exhaust port of the ship, leaving a trail of smoke behind. The ground should still be visible, and we can make out Captain America futilely running after them.
Captain America: HAWKEYE!! NO!!!

Page 17
Full page shot. View is from behind the heroes as they witness the Kree Mothership EXPLODING from the inside.
Captain America: NOOOOO!!!!!

And scene.